


Raising Hell

by slashsailing



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Kid Fic, M/M, Sexual Content, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-30
Updated: 2013-10-15
Packaged: 2017-12-16 16:25:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 31,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/864118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slashsailing/pseuds/slashsailing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cheaper by the Dozen AU. </p><p>Suspend belief and imagine that Bones and Jim didn't ride off into space on The Enterprise but settled down and had children, and not just a few but a dozen. And then something strange is going down at the edge of the neutral zone and so Pike calls Jim back to captain the Enterprise for a classified mission. But the mission isn't straightforward and it poses a threat to everything they hold dear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Captain(?) Kirk

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote this, I just watched Cheaper by the Dozen and was like: this might be fun. As always let me know what you think. 
> 
> Beta-edited by THE WONDERFUL iseult1124 - thank you lovely!

 

_May 2258_

_“They were landing when the drill hit earth, Joce and Clay, and their shuttle crashed.” Bones explains. “I’m getting full custody of Joe.”_

_“Oh God, are you…? It’s okay, Bones. We’ll figure it out–”_

_“The_ Enterprise _is no place to raise a child Jim.” Bones says, regret clear in his voice._

 _“But I can’t do this without you.” Jim’s eyes widen his own display of vulnerability. Theoretically Jim Kirk can do_ anything _._

_“You can kid, of course you can. And we’ll be here for shore leave and you’ll have loads of comm hours as Captain.” Bones says, his voice rueful. He brushes a surgeon’s finger across Jim’s cheekbone, moving higher to move the blonde strands out of his eyes. “We’ll manage.”_

_“I don’t_ want _to do it without you.”  Jim amends, and then adds defiantly: “I won’t.”_

 _“Jim, the ship needs you. Your_ crew _needs you.” Bones smiles. “You need to do this.”_

 _“_ You _need me.” Jim says, quickly turning his head to escape Bones’ touch. “I could stay.”_

_“You’d resent us for the rest of your goddamned life, Jim.” Bones snaps, without any real malice._

_“I wouldn’t!” Jim shouts, the anger suddenly rising in him. “I don’t need to be a Starfleet captain, I don’t need the Enterprise; I need_ you _. I want_ you _. I want the one thing I never really had growing up… A family. The Academy, the ‘Fleet, gave me that for a while, sure, but now it’s different. I wanna be there for you and Joe.”_

 _“_ Oh Jim _.” Bones smile sinks slightly. “I love you, you know that? But you need to get your scrawny ass up onto your ship.”_

_“You love my scrawny ass.” Jim pouts._

_“I really do.” Bones concedes._

_“I don’t want to be on a ship without you. I’ve slept next to you for nearly three years Bones, how am I meant to just forget that?” Jim asks._

_“Don’t forget, just readjust. We’ll work it out.”_

_But they don't 'work it out'; instead they continue to argue round in circles without ever getting anywhere. Bones kept giving Jim reasons to go, kept feeding him the lines he knew Jim needed to hear, kept trying to cement Jim’s resolve ‘_ to boldly go’ _. But it seemed Jim could always come back at him with better reasons to stay. Or better by Jim’s reasoning at any rate. Jim reckons it was Joe’s big blue eyes, looking up at him, wide and bright, that sealed the deal. It had only taken four hours for Eleanor McCoy to travel up from Georgia, the little boy clinging to her the entire way._ Georgia _; where his mother’s ashes blew in the wind and where an innocent six year old had had his world ripped out from under him._

_So Jim stayed._

_At first Bones went crazy, like seriously batshit crazy. Jim was wasting his life,_ dammit _, throwing away the opportunity men would die for._ Had _died for. But Jim had just walked from the shipping dock with his head held high having handed in his notice of resignation to Admiral Pike, who was now anything but r_ elieved _. Spock hadn’t understood the logic at first either; couldn’t grasp how anyone could justify joining Starfleet only to leave when they had finally achieved command. But then his thoughts went to Vulcan, and suddenly it seemed more than logical for Jim to stay; his family needed him. And Jim needed them. In so many ways Jim was still that broken child who drove Frank’s beautiful ‘65 Chevy Corvette convertible into a quarry. Jim Kirk’d already saved their world once, who could – or would – ask any more of him now?_

…

_August 2273_

“You need a doctor?” Jim asks, watching Bones attempt to inhale as much air into his lungs as quickly as physically possible.

“Jesus Jim, I  _am_  a doctor.” Bones grunts out during breaths. “How many times–”

“You’re pretty hot for a doctor.” Jim notes and Bones scoffs.

“Why thanks  _ever so_ , darlin’.” Bones replies dryly, letting his Southern twang seep deeper in that way he knows drives Jim a little crazy.

“Darlin’?” Jim raises his eyebrows, so very pleasantly surprised.

“I always call you darlin’.” Bones mutters, taking off his sneakers and throwing them in the general direction of where the other shoes live.

“In your head?” Jim quips.

“Infant.” Bones snorts.

“ _That’s_  more like it.” Jim leans forward to meet his husband’s lips in a chaste, slightly salty kiss. “How was your run?”

“Uneventful, I think Mrs Briscoe’s cows have escaped again.” Bones notes, pulling back the curtain slightly to show Jim the cows currently infesting their fields.

“Huh. Third time this month. Maybe I should go over and see if she needs her gates fixed.” Jim shrugs.

“And let her have the opportunity to molest you? I seriously think not.” Bones huffs. “That woman is too damn frisky for her own good.”

“Bones, she’s  _ninety_.” Jim says slowly, playfully. “She just likes to pinch my cheeks and tell me how beautiful our children are.”

“They are a pretty good bunch.” Bones agrees.

“What with all those Kirk genes running through them.” Jim adds, standing up behind Bones and pressing his body closer; feeling the shift of still-taut muscle in his back as Jim presses a kiss to the doctor’s neck. “Your shoulders are tight; you should get someone to look at that for you.” He teases.

“Jim.” Bones warns.

“Oh hush.” Jim says, withdrawing his body and slumping back into his chair. “C’mere.” Bones can just about fit his knees either side of Jim’s thighs on that small, definitely one-seater arm chair but he complies anyway, straddling Jim and leaning forward to fix their lips together a little more earnestly than before. Tongues twining together like they haven’t in a while; it’s been pretty busy lately, it always is in the run up to summer – what with the kids on vacation and the hospital needing Bones on call more – but they make time. They  _always_ make time.

“I was thinking.” Bones says, regretfully pulling away. “We should take a vacation. You know… Just the two of us.”

“Leonard McCoy, are you trying to get me away on a dirty weekend?” Jim asks with faux incredulity, eyes more than a little hopeful.

“Would you say yes if I was?” Bones smirks.

“I would definitely say yes if that’s what you’re offering. But what are we going to do with the kids?” Jim asks; practicality has become a bigger concern that he ever thought his brain would have room for. Slowly, somewhere along the line, booze and naked chicks have been replaced with Bones and children’s welfare. ‘ _More interesting this way’_ , he reasons.

“Way to break the mood.” Bones shakes his head, lifting his body off of Jim’s. “I’ll figure something out.”

“Okay; and Joe called, he’s coming home for the holidays. His shuttle leaves Frisco on Tuesday morning; he should be home for lunch.” Jim says. The high pitched, electronic beeping coming from the hall alerts them that the house comm needs attention and Jim loses the rock-paper-scissors ordering him to answer it.

“Hello?” Jim scratches absently at his stubble. “Yeah, speaking? Oh hello Admiral… Yeah, long time no see. Oh? Uh huh, uh huh… No, I, er– well I can ask. Yeah.  Wow really? That’s awesome. Yes sir. Yes. Alright, well comm me the relevant details and we’ll take it from there. Goodbye Admiral.” Jim cuts the connection and stares at his comm in some kind of shock infused excitement.

“What was that?” Bones asks from the doorway.

“Pike wants me to come and teach tactics and command for Starfleet.” Jim says slowly.

“Jim, you’re always up in San Francisco lecturing for Starfleet, what gives?” Bones asks, eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

“Full time. They want me there full time. Komack’s gone up for retirement and they want me to take his place. Not as an admiral obviously, but… Yeah.” He shrugs.

“Wow Jim. I mean this could be brilliant for you. I know you, you need a new challenge. I know you love your team here and the work that you guys do but you’re getting restless. This could be  _a really good_  thing – what’s with the face?” Bones steps closer to Jim, a sign of both concern and reassurance.

“Well I just… Am I even qualified? I was in space for a few hours Bones. I didn’t have command for that long; I’m not like Pike or Archer who commanded ships for  _years_.  Sure it’s cool to go in and recount various tactical choices a few times a year and talk about setting up the space station here in Riverside but–”

“No buts. You think Pike would have asked you if he had any doubts about your abilities? You are  _more_ than capable.” Bones urges.

“But it would mean moving to California. The kids will hate this… They’ll hate me! I’ll be dragging them from their home, their friends, their–” Jim reasons and Bones can already see his mind going into overdrive.

“Jim.” Bones says. “You’re tougher ‘an old nails and twice as sharp, you deserve this. The kids’ll understand.”

“Are you metaphoring me again?”  

…

_September 2258_

_“_ _You’re going to have to stop calling me kid if I’m going to have a baby with you.” Jim reminds him, their bodies sated and sticky with sweat._

_“Hmmm, sure.” Bones offers a noncommittal nod and kisses Jim’s temple._

_“I’m serious. I don’t want our little girl to question my authority.” Jim lifts his head from Bones’ chest and stares at him pointedly._

_“Little girl?”_

_“Yeah, I figure it’s less greedy if we only have one of each, and you know Joe_ is _a boy so it’s only logical to have a girl now.” Jim says, resettling his cheek back on the comfortable pectoral muscle below him. “The antenatal specialist said she can make sure your sperm gets modified into double-x eggs.”_

_“I’m glad you have it all planned out.” Bones yawns, pulling Jim closer. “Can I sleep now? Joe’ll be up in like ten minutes.”_

_“Yeah, yeah okay grumpy.” Jim exhales, perfectly content._

…

 _Jim’s ‘_ let’s-not-be-greedy’ _policy lasted all of five minutes._

_Sloane was born the following June and she was their bundle of absolutely golden joy. To Jim’s mind it seemed ridiculously wasteful not to take full advantage of the medical technology that allowed him and Bones to enlarge their family. Leonard is of the opinion that Jim simply became hopelessly addicted to fatherhood, and the absolutely wonderful realisation that a life can depend so completely on you, that he wanted more babies – and fast._

_So Alexander Kirk came kicking and screaming, figuratively speaking of course, into the world in March 2260. Julia followed not long after in the following December, and after a few failed attempts on technology’s part Noah and Finn became the first set of fraternal twins to join the Kirk-McCoy fold in April 2063._

_Jim always thought Spring births were rather poetic and so set things up to ensure that by May 2264 little Darcy had found her way into the world looking so much the perfect Southern Belle, with Bones’ dark hair and Jim’s big blue eyes. Once again the two fathers were instantly in love. Bones thought that would be enough. They already had so much on their plate, what with him on the wrong side of thirty and being the head consultant for the Neurology department; but Jim thought perhaps they should procure themselves some identical twins  for the added challenge, and thus on August 7 th 2266, coincidently Bones’ thirty ninth birthday, Cameron and Riley were brought into the world. _

_Then Jim seemed to be contented. The storm of parenthood calmed and they settled into a fool proof, if somewhat unregimented, routine. Well, that was until some wonderful old Iowan lady commented on how uneven the gender ratio was. And Jim Kirk is all for equality. So once again, well_ twice _actually, McCoy DNA was modified into perfect double-x eggs. Natalie was born in October 2268 and Melody in July 2269._

_James Junior was actually a surprise to both men as well as the research intern who had mistakenly fertilised some of their left over goods. But then, Bones reasoned, why have eleven when you could have twelve, and JJ completed their family in February 2271._

_Their IVF lab was most definitely closed that March._

 …

_September 2276_

They decided it would be best to tell the kids about the move after they’d come home from school because, as you’ll see, the morning routine really was enough to handle in itself.

“Look.” Julia began. “I am totally aware that this family doesn't value self-presentation in the same obsessive way that I do…”

“Don’t say totally.” Bones griped from the other end of the table.

“ _But_  with one of my life goals being, like, to become a fashion editor and general style guru I think I should be allotted at least five extra minutes in front of the mirror.” Julia puts her case forward in a respectable, if not slightly Valley-girl manner, smiling the trademark Kirk ‘ _you-know-you-want-to-give-me-what-I-want’_  smile.

“Two.” Jim says, getting out  _the book_ and making the amendment to the morning schedule.

“Four.” She pleads.

“Three.” Jim looks at her pointedly.

“Deal.”

“Okay, now we have that earth shattering business sorted would you help your brother butter his toast?” Bones asks looking over at Cameron, who looks  _totally_  adorable but nonetheless, has butter smeared all over his cheek.

“Okay, next point of call.” Jim begins. “Darcy, your suspension from riding has been lifted but I will ask you only this once not to ride Phoenix to school, because if either of you go missing again the stables will remain closed to you  _permanently_. Finn you have drum practice later on so I’ll pick you up from school at half past four. Noah you have flight cadets so I’ll see you at five. Cameron, Riley, your teacher commed me last night and has politely asked that you refrain from correcting her grammar in front of the class. And Natalie sweetheart you have show-and-tell okay, so I’ve packed your comic books; please don’t get them dirty.” Jim smiles reassuringly at his soon to be eight year old. “Melody you have a Doctor’s appointment for your chest so you’re going to work with Pops. JJ, you’re with me.” To which the two youngest cheer.

“That concludes breakfast.” Sloane says sarcastically, pulling her blonde hair back into a high, messy ponytail. “I’ve got astrophysics til four then I’m heading down to the shipyard. I’ll eat out.”

“Hey!” Bones makes a gentle grab for her wrist before she flees the table. “You want me to drive you today?”

Sloane’s been attending the pre-’Fleet high school that was born along with Jim’s Engineerial Research Centre, she’s got one year left before she leaves for Starfleet and Bones seems to get antsier every damn day. She’s been fighting with Jim a lot lately, mostly ‘cause she feels like Jim should be trying to give her as much advice as possible, but they’re also so similar that they butt heads at every corner.

“It’s okay.” She smiles. “I’ll board.”

“That thing is a death trap and I wish to God you’d get rid of it. You know how many horrible ways your body can be mangled if you crash that thing. Hover-boards are not all fun and games you know, it’s–”

“I  _know_  Pops. I do. I’m careful though.” She promises, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll see you later.” A chorus of various ‘ _goodbye, have a nice day’_ follow her exit, but Jim just looks huffy.

“Okay, eat up and clear out.” Bones stands, clearing away anything that looks finished and shooing various kids in various directions. “The bus’ll be here in ten minutes. I want you all on the porch in five.” Jim picks JJ out of his chair and hauls him into the air. “He’s too tall for a three year old you know.” Bones smiles, watching Jim watch their child with unmasked adoration.

“Kirk super genes.” Jim shrugs.

“If you need to sort out things with Pike I’ll take him with me today. I’m finishing at one anyway to take Dee down to paediatrics.” Bones offers.

“I don’t mind. I need a wingman, right buddy?” JJ just laughs and says something that sounds like ‘ _sure thing’_  but his mouth is full of starpuffs so it’s a little hard to tell.

“You have our three year old saying ‘ _sure thing’_?” Bones asks, completely incredulous. It reminds him of Alexander’s ‘ _totally rad’_  stage about ten years ago. “Unbelievable.”

“He’s not called James Junior for nothing you know.” Jim smirks.

“C’mere.” Bones leans over the table to capture Jim’s lips and the children still lingering around the kitchen-diner sound their disapproval. Bones draws away with a bellowed: “Porch. Now!” Which makes the younger children scurry off. Julia just leans against the doorframe smiling.

“What do you want, Jules?” Jim asks her expectantly, still looking at Bones.

“Can  _I_  have a ride?” Bones rolls his eyes, she’s obviously asking him because he’s driving the 2162 Kia to work and she hates taking the shuttle bus.

“If you ride everyone else has to ride, you know the rules, so porch…  _now_.” 

“I hate you.” She says gently.

“I know baby-doll.” Bones nods.

“Make-out resumes in five, four, three–”

“Alright, alright, I’m going.  _Jeez_.” She yells with a sickened quality to her voice.

“Two, one…”

…

Pike’s sat across from him in his Admiral whites. The focus on his comm is a little out and so some of his movements are slower, more disjointed. Or maybe that just shows how long it’s been since Jim has seen Christopher Pike and how old they're both getting. They've already gone over all the details and Jim has written up lecture notes and the various class schedules; they’re on course to drive to San Francisco at the end of the week. All the children have been enrolled in the Prep-Academy because it’s the closest school to their assigned living space on Starfleet campus and Sloane will actually be starting the Academy this year rather than next.

“She’ll probably sign up for the accelerated command course.” Jim notes, shifting JJ onto his other knee.

“Oh yeah?” Pike actually smiles at that. “Just like her father.”

“She’ll do far better than I ever did.” Jim chuckles slightly, sounding mildly regretful.

“The Kirks seem to get more ambitious every generation.” Pike agrees.

“By Stardate 3000 we’ll be running the show.” Jim adds. 

“I’ve learned not to doubt you.” Pike smiles. “Everything set then? How have the kids taken it?”

“They, uh; we’re telling them tonight.” Jim says, voice hesitant.

“Jim you’re leaving in four days. Surely that’s not enough time for them to take everything in; they’ll be in a new city, at a new school with new people–”

“We’ll manage.” Jim shrugs. “We always do. I have to go; would you patch me through to Joe’s room?”

“Yeah, okay. But I’m stating my reservations now. Pike out.” The connection is cut. Pike knows when he’s going to lose an argument, knows better than to start one with Jim Kirk in the first place. The screen crackles a bit before he’s reconnected to Joseph McCoy’s sitting room screen.

They talk almost every day at quarter to twelve when Joe takes his lunch break from medical, but apparently Joe isn’t expecting him today because he has his hand down some girl’s cleavage and tongue on her throat, and Jim has to cover JJ’s eyes quickly before any damage is done. But then he realises in horror that he has no hands to cut the connection and the audio is as clear as day, and there is moaning, and gasping, and  _wow_  she’s got a filthy mouth.

“Shit.” Jim mutters and then the noise stops and Jim tentatively turns his head back to the screen.

“Wow, ah Uncle Jim. I… uh- this is Elle, she’s my… and a nurse.” Joe fumbles to redo her buttons as Jim hides his smirk behind his youngest son. “I wanted, well I was going to introduce her… you know before you guys moved here so that it wasn’t a shock, you know…”

“Your father would hate how many times you’ve just said ‘ _you know’_  in that sentence.” Jim notes. “Hello Elle, it’s lovely to meet you. I’m Jim Kirk. This little blonde bombshell in my lap is JJ. James, say hi to your brother’s girlfriend.” Jim encourages.

“Hi.” He smiles brightly, waving a pudgy hand in the direction of the screen.

“Hello there.” She says; her voice is soft and there is a definite Southern twang to it, but different than Bones. “And it’s wonderful to finally meet you too Mr Kirk. I’m, ah, sorry about–”

“Don’t apologise and please call me Jim.” He pauses and frowns. “ _Finally?_  How long has he been keeping you a secret?” She laughs lightly, _Oklahoma_  he thinks.

“Only a few months.” Joe says lightly. “I was going to bring her down in the summer but she had to see her folks.”

“Where’re your folks from Elle?” Jim asks, even though he’s ninety percent sure Oklahoma is the answer.

“Oklahoma.”

Jim smirks.

“Well I better let you guys get back to – ah –  _work_. I remember when we were in the Academy, the medical track hardly gets any free time. But hey kid? Go easy, yeah? Imagine if it was Bones who commed. You’d have given him a heart attack.” Jim’s smirk widens.

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry. I know. Um, I’ll comm you both later.” He says hurriedly before Jim shuts off the connection.

…

“I think we should vote on it.” Alexander says. “It’s the only fair way.”

“Okay.” Bones says slowly. “But at the end of the day you know we’re going to do what’s best for us as a family, right?”

“So what’s the point in voting?” Alexander shouts back. “It’s not fair. I’m not moving! Our life is here.”

“Just think about it this way. We’re both going to be on better salaries, more credits mean you guys can have the best of whatever you want. And Starfleet Prep is really a very good school.” Jim explains but is quickly cut off by Finn.

“I don’t want to go to ‘Fleet-Prep. I don’t want to join Starfleet.” He says.

“It’s not about joining Starfleet; it’s about getting the best education that can take you wherever you want to go.” Bones adds.

“This could give us some awesome opportunities.” Sloane adds.

“You’re happy to go because you can join a year early; you’re just being a selfish bi–”

“Darcy Kirk don’t you dare finish that sentence.” Bones yells.

“It’s a proven fact that higher earning parents spend less time with their children.” Finn says.

“I don’t think that’s a fact kiddo.” Jim smiles. “Nice try though.”

“Let’s vote.” Julia says. “Can’t do any harm.”

“Okay.” Bones nods. “Alex, pass me some paper would you?”

About ten minutes later Bones began collecting in each child’s carefully, or in most cases care _less_ ly, folded ballots. Three yeses, six noes and a maybe. Bones sighed, showing Jim the tally.

“Who’s the maybe?” Jim asked the crowd of children.

“I’m the maybe.” Melody raises her hand.

“Well I’m a no. You should say no too Mel.” Natalie says gently, nodding vigorously.

“JJ didn’t vote.” Cameron notes.

“He’s too young to vote,  _doofus_.” Riley shoves at his twin. And Bones braces his forehead against his knuckles.

“Hey boys! Break it up! And JJ is a yes, Cameron.” Jim says in his no-nonsense tone.

“Well, you  _would_  say that. I don’t know why we voted we’re going regardless.” Alexander huffs.

“Is this about Lola? Because the shuttle only takes two hours, you guys could see each other all the time” Jim reasons.

“This isn’t just about Lola. All of my friends are here. I don’t want to go to Starfleet Prep with those pompous–”

“How do you know what the kids at ‘Fleet Prep are like? Aren’t you being just as pompous for judging people you don’t even know?” Jim asks, using his dad-knows-best tone. This does successfully silence his son.

“When do we leave?” Julia asks.

“Friday.” Jim says. “Semester starts on Monday.”

“But we’ve already started one school; I don’t want to go through that again.” Darcy adds.

“Sweetheart, you’re twelve. You’re not old enough to think school is the end of the world.” Bones smiles, pulling his little girl onto his knee.

“I’m old enough that this isn’t placating anymore.” She says wriggling out of Bones’ grasp.

“Well you sure know how to make your ol’ Pops feel loved.” Bones grouches.

…

“Five minutes ago she was sitting on my shoulders pointing up at the stars.” Bones says, sucking gentle love bites into Jim’s clavicle.

“And then you blinked.” Jim sighs. He knows the feeling; that’s pretty much how he approaches Sloane these days.

“Yeah, exactly; enough blinking. No more of the blinking.” Bones agrees.

“Sounds like a plan.” Jim smiles.

…

The morning of the move Alex’s girlfriend Lola is at breakfast with the rest of the family. She’s wearing one of the many t-shirts Alex has stolen from Jim over the years and it’s noticeably rumpled against her slight frame. It is one of the only times either father has seen her hair out of its usual pristine French twist, and the shock of white blonde hair provides a lovely contrast to her sun kissed skin. That being said, Bones is slightly more concerned about the evidence of a different kind of kissing marking the right side of her neck.

Alexander only turned sixteen in March and in Bones’ opinion it’s a bit too young to be doing what they were surely doing last night. Bones can handle giving the girls ‘ _the talk’_ , but Jim and Alex had a really easy relationship and Jim’d said they’d covered it. Jim had probably encouraged sex. Lots of sex. That’s how Jim operated. Sure,  _Bones_  was thankful on that front but Lola was sixteen too, and if Sloane or Jules even thought about having sex he was pretty sure Jim would lose his head. And their male companions would probably lose their balls. 

After breakfast Bones pulls Alex into the hallway, resting a hand on his shoulder. “So Lo spent the night?”

“Yeah. And yeah, I know what you’re going to ask. And… well yeah.” Alex smiles. Not in a triumphant way, just gently, almost shyly, and Bones can’t help but mirror the gesture.

“Did you guys use protection?”

“Yeah, Pops.” Alex nods, expecting the medically motivated question. “It was just, we thought it was time. With us moving, she wanted me to be her first and it was right… For both of us.”

“Okay. Well good, I guess. I’m glad, son.” Bones ruffles Alex’s fringe and steps back into the kitchen. Jim is washing up the last of the crockery that hasn’t made it into the million cardboard boxes just yet when Bones winds his strong arms around his waist. Jim leans back, turning quickly to peck at his husband’s jaw. “Did you know Alex and Lola…?” Bones drifts off with just the right tone to insinuate.

“Yeah, she was all bedraggled this morning. Never even seen a crease in her before.” Jim notes.

“Well I, er, spoke to him, you know.” Jim can feel Bones shrug behind him.

“Were you cool?” Jim teases.

“I  _was_  cool.”

“Maybe you  _can_  teach an old dog new tricks.” Jim says softly.

“I’ll give you old dog.” Bones mutters, pulling away but not before he places a sturdy kiss to Jim’s temple.

“Later.” Jim smirks. “Right now I need to go strap the kids to the car, so… wish me luck.”

“Inside the car I hope.” Bones scoffs. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

The drive is obviously longer than the shuttle would have been; they actually have to stop for lunch and dinner even though they packed the Jeep with snacks. Bones drives the first nine hours and then Jim does the final seven. They’ve exhausted the list of driving games Noah and Finn made and sung nearly every road trip song Jim could think of. Sloane, Alex and Julia, because she demanded it, went by shuttle that morning with all the furniture and were to be met the other side by Joseph and Elle who would start getting things ready- _ish_ in the new house. By the time they finally get there its dark o’clock and all the kids are sleeping in various awkward positions. Jim lightly taps Bones’ shoulder and JJ shifts in the doctor’s arms.

They wake each kid one at a time; the three children already there have chosen their rooms and Elle is wrapped up in Joseph’s arms on the sitting room couch. Its times like these that prove Bones and Jim are such a flawless team. They navigate themselves around the house silently, putting the two sets of twins in the bigger bedrooms and then trying to match kids to the mass of bedrooms this house has come equipped with. They’ll no doubt renegotiate tomorrow but for now Bones just wants a soft surface to lay his head, and  _for once_  Jim Kirk is just as exhausted.

“I’m beat.” He whispers, as they fall into bed. The house is really quiet, but the buzz of the city is all around, the total opposite to Iowa. That’s the first thing Jim notices. After how tired he is, of course.  

“We’ll have to christen the house tomorrow.” Bones says idly, already succumbing to sleep.

“You think we can do the  _whole_  house in one day?” Jim teases. “But there are  _so_  many rooms!”

“Infant.”

…

All the professor accommodation on Starfleet campus is made up of compact, white panelled condos with little character upon first glance. Not like their old ranch in Iowa that had aged and changed and grown with the family. These houses had seen little movement in the three hundred or so years Starfleet Academy had been based in San Francisco. The Kirk-McCoy household actually had three condos that had been redesigned to accommodate their unusually large family. Most of the professors onsite were singletons that had never married or set up house for the simple fact that they had been in space for the majority of their career.

Jim blanches at the fact that might have been him.

All the rooms in the house were pristine; clean white lines, high polish glass, furniture that wasn’t exactly suited to the sticky fingers of five year olds but Jim had to admit it was like something from a dream. A big step up from the cadet quarters he remembered anyway. The second level was all bedrooms, all diametrically the same size. And the third level had three rooms slightly bigger; the twins would take one, the second would be a guest room and the third would be where Bones and Jim would sleep if they ever got the chance. 

Bones’ favourite room was the dining room; it was more like a mess hall if you asked him but Jim maintains that was just pure exaggeration. The table was the only piece of real wood in the entire house and it was huge, two benches provided seating on either side. No head of the table though; that’d ruin Jim’s morning speeches, although they’d surely be able to locate a chair in this expertly-equipped house.

“Christine?” Bones smiles at their first visitor. She has a bottle of red wine nestled in one arm and some purple alien potted plant in the crook of the other. Her blonde hair has been cut since the last time they commed, but that could have been over two years ago, now that Bones thinks about it.

“Hello, Leo.” Her smile is so genuine it warms his heart. He steps aside to let her and her male companion in the house. Bones’ never met Roger but apparently he was an ensign on the Enterprise for a few years before moving to a Starbase.

“Chapel!” Jim calls, throwing his arms around her. “You look  _great_.”

“Thank you, James. Now hands off, you’ll squash the plant.” She says, shrugging out of his grip, throwing a cautious glance at Roger.

“You must be Roger.” Bones says, outstretching a hand. He is met with a weak, hesitant grip that ends before it’s really started. Bones hates a guy who can’t manage a handshake; it’s the first thing you’re taught as a boy in the South. Roger has a European air about him, maybe that’s the reason he’s unfamiliar with a good shake.

“Who’s she?” Riley calls from the stairs.

“Mind your manners.” Bones replies. “This is a friend of mine, Christine Chapel.”

“Hello  _ma’am_ , very pleased to make your acquaintance.” The ten year old replies with a pointed look aimed at Bones even though he stumbles over the word acquaintance a bit. Riley shifts in between his two fathers to assess the woman. “You’re a nurse.”

“Yes. I’m on shore leave at the moment and I thought I’d stop by to meet you guys.” Christine says in a child-friendly tone. It’s awkward for her because she’s never really understood the appeal of children.

“It’s okay; you can talk to me like an adult. If I don’t get a word I’ll just say so.” Riley assures her, obviously sensing her discomfort.

“Ry.” Jim warns. “Please be polite.”

“ _I am._ ” He insists. “Anyway, I just wanted to ask if we could unpack the hockey gear.”

“You wanna play in the house?” Jim asks.

“Yeah.” Riley nods.

“How many?” Bones asks.

“Two on two; just me, Cam, Darcy and Nat.”

“Okay; it gets more than three on three it goes outside.” Bones warns.

“Yeah no probs, Pops.” Riley smiles and bounds off to the front garden where all the ‘outside’ furniture has been left.

“Hockey in the house?” Roger asks.

“We can keep an eye on ‘em that way.” Bones smiles crookedly and shrugs.

“Coffee?” Jim asks.

“Sure.” Christine smiles. “Lead the way.”

Julia is doing something intricate to Sloane’s hair when they enter the kitchen. “It’ll come undone less easy and it frames your face nicer; you’ve got those mad Kirk cheekbones, you should show them off.” Julia says to her sister, letting the envy fill her voice.

“You were like five an hour ago and now you’re telling me how to style myself? Isn’t this the wrong way round?” Sloane asks, wincing when Julia pulls one of her freshly finished fishtail plaits.

“No, you spend way too much time in the sims to ever have the chance to hone your inner beauty guru so someone had to save you.” Julia shrugs. “Coffee?” She turns to Jim.

“Yes please oh child o’ mine.” Jim nods.

“Hello Christine.” Sloane offers a wave. “I’m Sloane, I know it’s been a while and there are loads of us. I’m the oldest girl, you know, unless Joe’s had some sort of gender-bending crisis I’m unaware of.”

“You’re ah, eighteen?”

“Next June.”

“Oh wow, so you’re starting the Academy a year early?” Roger asks.

“Yeah well I’ve been at the ’Fleet Prep in Riverside for the last year and a half so I think I’m ready.” Sloane says.

“I’m Jules. Well Julia, but who actually puts that on their child.” She scowls at Bones in between offering the adults their coffee.

“And you’re fifteen?” Christine calculates.

“Yeah, sixteen in December.” She smiles wide. “I’m hoping to have a Sweet Sixteen; you two should totally come if you have shore leave.”

“Don’t say totally.” Bones rolls his eyes.

“Totally is a totally valid word to express the totality of a clause.” Julia counters.

“We’d love to.” Christine says to diffuse the situation. “We’ll see what we can do.”

“That’s so like totally rad.” Julia says, lacing on her Valley speak.

“You are so like, totally forcing that.” Bones counters, not quite managing SoCal with his Georgian accent. A scream from the hallway pulls them from their coffees and a pained look crosses Jim’s face when he spots the crying figure in Cameron and Riley’s arms.

“Oh Dee.” Jim takes Melody into his arms and her screams dim slightly.

“I’ll get the medkit.” Bones says. “Darcy what happened?”

“Riley was trying to tackle Natalie and the hockey stick flew out of his hand and Mel was watching from the side line and I think she got slapped in the face.” Darcy shrugs. “But I was too busy trying to stop Nat from crying from shock or something to see.”

“How do you tell the difference?” Christine whispers to Sloane, motioning to the twins.

“Well Riley has scar on his forehead from where he and Joe fell through an iced lake a few years ago. But they speak differently and dress differently and are just  _different_ ; it’ll take a while but once you know the difference you just  _know_.” Sloane explains.

“It’s okay Bones there’s no open cut, she doesn’t need the regen.” Jim is saying from the sink where he has Melody and JJ balanced.

“You sure? You want to me give her the once over?” Bones asks.

“She doesn’t need it, she’s fine  _doctor_.” Jim huffs. “This isn’t brain surgery Bones.”

“I know, I know.”

“Look if this is a bad time–”

“Roger!” Christine scolds.

“No, it’s just… well this is how it is with twelve kids you know.” Jim shrugs. “We should call a lunch break.”

 “I’ll call the troops.” Julia says totting out of the room.

“Riley, Cameron… Help me set the table.” Sloane says grabbing some plate from the cupboards. “Pops would you grab some cups?”

“Yeah Sloane, give me a second, I’ll sort out some food too.” Bones nods, picking Natalie up off the ground with a slight groan. “Jesus kiddo, I’m getting old.”

“You’ll never be old Pops.” Natalie grins.

“You just remember that when you’re try’na put me in a care home okay?” He kisses her cheek and she laughs.

“I’ll do a fruit salad, you do the sandwiches?” Jim asks.

“Yeah sure, you want anything in particular?” Bones asks from the dining room where he’s setting Natalie onto the bench.

“You don’t use the replicators?” Christine asks.

“No, Bones has got issues with feeding kids replicated food; says it’s not sufficient nutrition.” Jim shrugs.

“Well I’m no chef but I’m sure I can cut some fruit.” Christine offers, rolling up the sleeves of her cardigan.

“Thanks Christine.” Jim smiles.

…

Pike visits later that day. He’s more familiar with the kids but Jim and Bones respect that it’s always a bit of a shock to walk into their house. Even this pristine high-tech super house.

“’Least you’ll have a spare room or two, what with Sloane moving into cadet quarters.” Pike says over a glass of whiskey. Jim hasn’t drunk any alcohol in a while and this doesn’t really seem like an occasion to start.

“Yeah, and Joe’ll be going up in the black in May. It’s going to hit Bones hard not having them around so much. It was bad enough when Joe started Med school. You never get used to it.” Jim says honestly. “But I’m glad. Noah’s excited to start ‘Fleet Prep. He’s wanted to be a pilot for as long as I can remember.”

“Maybe you’ll have a few captains in the mix.” Pike suggests.

“One can dream.” Jim nods. “I think Darcy might end up in Security or something.” He scoffs.

“She’s really something; how does something so pretty pack such a punch?” Pike asks, like an unbelieving grandfather.

“She’s more Kirk than is probably healthy.” Jim admits. “Bones keeps her out of harm’s way though.” 

 “He has a real knack for that.” Pike says.

“Daddy?” Melody’s voice is meek from where she’s hiding behind the office door.

“Dee what are you doing out of bed?” Jim asks even though he has his arms open to pull her into his lap. “It’s really late and you have school tomorrow.”

“I know, but I couldn’t sleep.” Melody says, curling a hand into Jim’s shirt tiredly. “I don’t want Sloane to leave.”

“She’s not leaving Dee, she’s only going to be across campus; she’ll see us all the time.” Jim promises.

“You think she’ll like wearing a Cadet uniform?” Melody asks.

“Well, while I maintain gold is the only colour suitable for Kirks I think she’ll manage.” Pike laughs at that, watching distantly as Jim chatters to his daughter.

“Ah, there you are.” Bones is suddenly in the doorway. “Admiral Pike.” He adds, standing to attention.

“At ease, doctor.” Pike says, offhandedly.

“Melody, baby-girl, I was looking for you. You need to get a good night sleep; you’ll be up real early tomorrow.” Bones says in a really soft tone that takes Pike by surprise. He’s noticed that both Jim and Bones seem like different men, especially with their younger children.

“Night Daddy.” She murmurs, already starting to tire. “G’night Admril.” Bones pulls her up into his arms and she immediately curls her head into his chest. He departs with a kiss to Jim’s forehead and a slight nod of acknowledgement in Pike’s direction.

  “You have a wonderful family Jim.” Pike can’t help but admit. “While I often get rather rueful that you’re not flying my girl around the galaxy I can understand your reasoning.”

“Well thanks I guess.” Jim scoffs. “How is the old girl anyway?”

“She’s taken a bit of a beating recently, they’re bringing her in for repairs. Then we’ll see, they think they’re going to remodel her you know, get her up to date. Put a fresh young team in her and then send her back out in three or four years’ time.” Pike says, swirling the end of his whiskey around the glass before backing it in one gulp.

“Well, that’ll certainly bring a buzz to the cadets.” Jim admits.

…

Jim was going to lead the hand-to-hand combat classes as well apparently. His first lesson was actually rather hectic because there were a number of cadets who just couldn’t get over the thrill of ‘ _ohmygodit’sjimkirk’_ but Jim took it well and mustered through mostly unfazed. Bones had joined him from Medical for lunch where he began to complain like he hadn’t since they’d been at Starfleet the last time round as mere cadets.

“Well they’re just as incompetent now as they were then.” He huffs when Jim raises that point. “And Joseph is just being cocky because he thinks he can. He’s only just qualified and you’d think he was a fucking consultant.”

“Let’s not swear in front of the child, yeah?” Jim says motioning JJ. “He’s probably feeling slightly put out because his father’s stepping on his toes and calling him Cadet McCoy when he’s repeatedly asked you to call him Doctor. He’s twenty-four and he’s one of the best medics Starfleet has seen in a very, very long time, old man. Just give him a break.”

“Well I can’t be seen to be giving preferential treatment.” Bones huffs. “They’re all cadets still you know.”

“He’s only a cadet still because he did his MA and wanted to take on all those command courses so that he’d be happy running a sickbay.” Jim states. “He’s ambitious, try and remember that.”

“Are you giving me a hard time, Jim?” Bones raises an eyebrow. “You’ll know exactly what I mean when Sloane walks into your tactics seminar. It’s… weird.”

“Well she hates me anyway. You shouldn’t try and force those kinds of feelings on your eldest son who loves you wery, wery much.” Jim’s tone becomes more animated as he tries to entertain JJ, running a hand over his son’s cheek.

“Hmmm. I’ll try and be good. I’m only here two days a week anyway. It’ll be complete heaven when I’m working up at the actual hospital.” Bones adds.

“Starfleet Medical Centre  _is_  an actual hospital you pedantic, contrary old man.” Jim gripes.

“Yes, yes, alright. And less of the  _old_ , thank you. It’s just strange being back here.” Bones nods, pushing away his plate. “You think if we put JJ in his play pen you could spare me twenty minutes to make up for my contrary ass?”

“You’re so romantic my heart’s just about fit to burst.” Jim laughs. “But yes, Mr Quickie, I could spare you fifteen minutes.”

“I asked for twenty.”

“You won’t need twenty.”

…

True to his word they didn’t need twenty. Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing could be debated, but both men got to where they had to be at 1300, and the slight ache in Bones’ knees went unnoticed by all his cadets.  _Apart_ from Joe, of course.

“You alright Pops?” He asks as they’re leaving the lab for the day. “Knees playing up?”

“Just a slight twinge, don’t worry about it.” Bones replies.

“Self-inflicted?” Joe guesses.

“Yeah, so let’s not go there shall we?” Bones grouches, smiling. “Jim told me about catching you and Elle out the other day. Nice girl, but  _filthy_ mouth apparently.”

“No comment.” Joe laughs. “I like her Pops. I really do.”

“Well good. She’s in psychiatry right?” Bones asks.

“Well at the moment she’s working as a nurse, but yeah she’s here so she can complete her training and be an on-board therapist.”

“She got a high psi count?”

“Yeah but she prefers cognitive therapy anyway.”

“You tell her about my aviophobia?”

“Yeah, she thinks you’re really something.” Joe smiles.

“I’ll bet.”

…

“Sloane not coming home for dinner?” Alex asks.

“No, she’s, ah, throwing herself into Academy life.” Jim says with a shrug.

“You argued with her in class today, didn’t you?” Bones questions.

“No… after.” Jim pouts. “ _I’m_  very professional.” Jim glares at Bones as if to make a point before turning back to Alex. “How was school anyway?”

“Alright, all my classes are suddenly prefixed with xeno, but nothing seems too different. I’ve got an introduction to flight sims tomorrow. That should be fun.” Alex shrugs. “Most of the kids in my class have been doing sims for the last two years so I have a lot to catch up on but I’m going to use some of my free periods.” He explains, grabbing a slice of melon from Bones’ freshly cut mound.

“You’ll ruin your appetite.” He warns. “And don’t go mental with the sims; it’s not good for you.”

“He’s a growing boy.” Jim counters. “He needs to eat like a pig. Have you commed Lola?”

“We’re going to have a vidcomm later.” Alex replies, trying to sneak more melon.

“Uh, uh.” Bones says, shaking his head. “The pie’ll be out of the oven in fifteen minutes, you can wait.”

“Is this going to be a PG vidcomm or do you want me to keep everyone busy?” Jim asks.

“Dad!” Alex squeals, completely mortified.

“Jim!” Bones splutters gruffly, nearly chopping through his fingers.

“What? Come on Bones I’m just being realistic.” Jim shrugs.

“Please don’t turn into some, like, free love hippy mom.” Alex groans, a deep pink rising up his neck.

“ _Mom_?” Jim frowns. “You didn’t answer the question.”

“Because you’re so not allowed to ask  _that_  question, especially in front of Pops.”  Alex explains. “It’s weird.”

“What do you mean ‘especially in front of Pops’?” Bones demands.

“Well you know. Dad’s cool with you know, sex and stuff. But you’re, you know… Old fashioned or some shit.” Alex shrugs.

“Don’t swear. It loses emphasis if you swear when you don’t have to.” Jim says, to which Alex murmurs an offhanded apology.

“Look, we’ll give you some space tonight.” Bones starts. “But for now could you just go and gather the troops ‘cause I gotta get this pie out the oven.” Alex just rolls his eyes and wanders out of the room calling various children’s names.

“You’re right.” Bones sighs.

“About what?” Jim asks.

“You are cool dad.” He admits.

“It took you  _this_  long to work that out? I thought you were meant to be a genius or some shit.” Jim smirks, pulling Bones’ face towards his for a gentle kiss. Bones’ hands automatically run up Jim’s hips to cradle his ribs and pull him closer.

“Dudes you need to seriously get a room.” Finn interrupts; his eyes are disbelieving, as if his fathers should know not to kiss in front of him,  _like ever_.

“We have a room, you just happen to have invaded it.” Jim counters, not letting go of the front of Bones’ shirt.

“But I need juice.” Finn reasons before he just simply shrugs, his need for juice clearly outweighing his disgust. “And just as a side note, Noah’s hogging our room with his ’Fleet textbooks spread all over the place.”

“You guys have a huge room; he can’t  _physically_  hog that room, it’s not possible.” Jim counters.

“Should you not be perhaps having a look at the ’Fleet textbooks too? You know what with homework assignments and the like?” Bones asks, looking ruefully at his son who clearly wants to do anything but homework.

“Yeah, whatever.” Finn shrugs. “You want me to help set the table?”

“Sure kiddo.” Bones nods. “Grab the cutlery; we’ll be with you in five.”

“You underestimate your abilities.” Jim smirks. Bones makes sure Finn is way out of the room before resuming their kiss. Just as their tongues have begun to make progress the sound of Darcy’s discontent disrupts them.

“Jesus.” Her voice is gruff, like Bones. “Stop  _please_.”

“This isn’t going to happen now is it?” Jim asks, sighing.

“Looks unlikely.” Bones sniffs. “Look missy, help me with some glasses and stop your whining.” He turns to Darcy handing her a tower of plastic cups, while he grabs some plates.

…

“Captain Kirk, Lieutenant Commander McCoy, please come through.” The principle of Starfleet Preparatory Academy is a sour looking man that Jim instantly dislikes. He has serpentine eyes that Jim assumes would unnerve the majority of children and as such seems rather unsuited to the job, in his opinion anyway. Next to him Bones bristles at being addressed by his rank, ‘ _he’s a doctor dammit, not a solider’_. “While my comm suggested this was just a routine end of first week consultation I would also like to raise a few other issues while we’re at it.” He continues once they’re seated in his dark, musty feeling office.

“Issues?” Bones prompts.

“Namely one Finn Kirk.” The principle,  _Lieutenant_  Bishop, if we want to play that game, attempts a smile.

“My son is not an  _issue_.” Bones counters. “What seems to be your problem, exactly?”

“He is, in a word,  _difficult_.” Bishop lets his tongue cut around each syllable of difficult, making it sound dangerous and corrupt.

“He’s struggling slightly to adjust to the change; he’s been hit pretty hard by the move.” Jim explains. “He can’t really see a place for himself in the ’Fleet. And while my husband and I understand his desire to do other things we realise this really is the best education our children can get in San Francisco.” Bishop seems to blanch when Jim says husband and it sets Jim on edge. Just like xenophobia, homophobia is a rare thing to come by nowadays… Bones seems unaware of Bishop’s little slip; he’s staring too intently at Jim. So as a sign of resistance Jim let’s his fingers trail over Bones’ clothed forearm, rubbing soothing circles into the material.

“Lots of children have difficulty adjusting, we cannot give your son preferential treatment. He needs to make more of an effort in class and lose the attitude or we may have to reconsider his place here.” Bishop warns, eyes drawn to Jim’s hand.

“I understand that.” Jim says levelly. “We’ll talk to him.”

“The other twin…” Bishop pauses to look at his files. “Noah is doing particularly well, as is your eldest Alexander.”

“Alex isn’t our eldest.” Bones interjects.

“I understand you also have a younger son who has not joined the Academy yet.” Bishop continues.

“JJ’s three years old, seems a bit premature.” Jim says.

“We weren’t even sure whether ‘Fleet Prep would be suitable for our two youngest daughters.” Bones explains.

“They’re seven at the moment, although Nat’ll be eight in a month. But we were assured your under twelve program was very child friendly. Their teachers seem nice anyway. Freedom is very important in children’s education.”

“But a lot must be said for good structure. It must be difficult to maintain order in a house of twelve.” Bishop counters.

“They’re children not officers.” Jim can feel Bones’ muscles tighten under his hand, his voice is growing more agitated, more affronted by the sentence. 

“I was just making an observation.” Bishops says innocently.

“Have you any observations to offer on our children’s academic progress, perhaps?” Bones asks tightly.

“Yes, now that you mention it. Your daughter Darcy, she skipped a grade in her last placement, correct?”

“Yeah, she should be in the 6th grade but she’s pretty clever.” Jim replies.

“Well I agree her abilities warrant this acceleration but she is rather aggressive with other students, slightly, raucous, ah  _boisterous_ , if you will. Perhaps this stems from a feeling of discomfort from being surrounded by children more mature than she is. Also I feel it slightly counterproductive for Noah, Finn and Darcy to all shares the same grade.” Bishop explains.

“They hardly share any classes together, they’re in different rotations.” Bones points out. “Besides Darcy is more than mature for her age and she’ll be more frustrated if she’s in an environment that is less than challenging.”

“What Bon-  _my husband_  means is that we know our children. It’s in Darcy’s best interest to remain a grade ahead. We’ll talk to her about calming down but some kids are just high spirited.” Jim says, locking his fingers with Bones’. “What about Cameron and Riley? Neither has really said much when we ask them about school.”

“I have no reports to suggest they are anything but well-behaved, amiable young boys.  With the Kirk reputation preceding them I expected a lot of identical twin shenanigans.” Bishop admits.

“They hate to be clichéd.” Jim laughs, feeling Bones begin to relax. “Was there anything else, Lieutenant?” 

“No Captain.” Bishops stands. “We’ll have another review about Finn and Darcy at the end of term.”

“Two outta twelve ain’t so bad.” Jim smirks.

“Two outta  _ten_  technically.” Bones amends.

“Toe-may-toe, Toe-mah-toe.” Jim laughs. “Have a nice day, Lieutenant.”

…

The next day, Saturday as it happens, Bones and Jim take the children off campus to a nearby park. Alexander and Julia have decided to do their own thing, Julia going out with her new girlfriends and Alex taking the shuttle to visit Lola. Everyone else, however, is kitted out for a fun autumn day in the mud, because Bones knows how these children are and raincoats are just essential in keeping the hypothermia at bay, not to mention the germs that dirt must be harvesting.

“Bones, you do remember what fall is like in San Francisco? The weather is going to be awesome; we’ll be carrying eight raincoats between us.” Jim whines. “This wrapping them up warm is completely ridiculous.”

“Rain might be rare in September but it  _can_  happen and I won’t have ‘em catching colds unnecessarily. Can you fit all that in the hamper?” Bones asks, eyeing the trays of sandwiches and various other ‘healthy’ snacks disbelievingly.

“It’ll fit.” Jim promises.

When they  _finally_  get to the park (getting ten people into a hoverjeep can be seriously demanding, you know) the kids are still full of energy but Jim just does his best to find a nice shaded area where they can lay down their picnic blanket and relax. Bones sits slightly further into the sun allowing Jim to bask in all his lovely, tanned goodness, the sun illuminating the spread of freckles dusting his cheeks.

They are only able to sit in peace for a moment before the call of Jim’s name has their full attention.

“Nyota?” Bones wonders, eyebrows knitting in shock. 

“Hello Leonard.” She smiles, still as graceful as she was nearly twenty years ago. Spock stands beside her looking unaffected, but Jim can see those subtle hints that betray his happiness to see them. A slight quirk of the lip and an upturn in his eyes.

Although the two couples were once all painfully familiar with each other, now… well  _now_  Jim’s frankly lost for words. They stayed in close contact for the Enterprise’s first five year mission, relating their various successes and complaints, but it had fizzled out after they had stayed the summer on New Vulcan before departing for their second tour.

“What brings you back to Starfleet?” Nyota asks.

“Jim’s become a professor.” Bones says proudly.

“What about you two?” Jim deflects, trying to shrug off the attention he has drawn. “Pike’s said the Enterprise might not be up and running for another three years.”

“We won’t be finishing our fourth tour, eighteen years has been more than enough space time for us.” Nyota looks at Spock tenderly. “We’re travelling back to New Vulcan in January.”

“We intend to start a family.” Spock finishes.

“That’s brilliant.” Jim smiles. “You can borrow one of ours for a test drive anytime.”

“Or two or three, you know, whatever.” Bones adds. “We’ve loads to spare.”

“You were in the process of procuring identical twins the last time we spoke.” Spock says.

“Yes, and procure them we did.” Jim grins, he looks over in the general direction of the children’s playground beside the park and Spock’s gaze follows. All four watch in silence for a little while longer before a body begins to bound closer to them.

“Watch it.” Bones calls, praying Melody won’t trip on the grass and hurt herself.

“Darcy wanted me to ask you if you’d come and push us on the roundabout.” She asks, looking from Jim to Bones and back.

“You’re younger than I am.” Bones nudges Jim. Jim sighs, trying to think of an argument to offer in his favour, but failing.

“Why don’t we all go?” Nyota offers diplomatically, looking down at the little brunette. Her countenance has softened since the last time Bones has seen her; while she always looked at Bones with a young, naïve fondness in her eyes this fondness seems to have evolved into some sentimentality that now even extends openly to Jim.

“I’ll pack up the blanket and stuff, you guys go on ahead.” Bones assures, waiting for Jim to stand before beginning to neatly fold the patchwork blanket. The food hamper hasn’t been unpacked yet so at least he didn’t have the momentous job of trying to fit all that food into such a small space all over again. When he gets as far as the fence around the playground, and back with the other adults, Jim is doing his best to push the old-fashioned manual roundabout.

“Could we maybe fund some, like, repairs to this place?” Finn asks, skateboard under one arm. He’s been after a hoverboard since his last birthday but Bones is really against transport methods that leave the ground, and Finn is already causing him high blood pressure from some of the tricks he showcases on a daily basis. Unbeknownst to Bones, Jim and Finn are currently working on a small transporter engine that will turn his skateboard into some sort of hover-hybrid. Bones thinks all that time they spent in their Iowa garage was entirely harmless; if only he knew.

“There is nothing wrong with a bit of old fashioned fun.” He repeats the line Jim’s been feeding him for years; but when Bones says it, it seems to take on a different meaning.

“There is so. If there was nothing wrong with it, it wouldn’t have become old fashioned.” Finn counters.

“Look kid, less of your cheek. Why don’t you use that mound of dirt over there as a ramp or something?” Bones suggests. “Unless you’re hungry?”

“Sandwiches?” Finn asks, hopeful.

“Yeah.” Bones nods. “You want the beef don’t ya?”

“Yes sir.” Finn nods.

“Just like your father. If you don’t be careful-”

“What? Will my  _eyeballs bleed_?” Finn smirks, laying on a thick Georgian accent.

“Oh, would’cha look at that. I don’t think we have any beef left, kiddo.” Bones says with a smirk of his own, his voice laced with faux regret.

“You are a mean, mean man Leonard McCoy.” Finn huffs. “Dad!” He suddenly roars, turning in Jim’s direction. “You guys made beef sandwiches, right?”

 “Yeah, enough so you, me, and Noah don’t have to fight.” Jim calls back, his voice not even slightly rasped from the physical exertion. “Cause I’d win, you know.”

“Noah, Finn  _and I_ , Jim.” Bones reminds, loud enough to carry but Jim just waves him off.

“So, uh… Beef?” Finn asks, neck stretching to look inside the hamper.

“Sure kid, just eat some fruit too, will ya?” Bones kneels on the ground to open the hamper. You’d think someone just set off the fire alarm the way the kids evacuate the playground to grab their lunch. Jim looks only slightly flushed but thankful for the respite nonetheless.

“Could I offer some assistance?” Spock asks, crouching beside Bones.

“I think we’ll manage. They all have their little individual things, you know. And you guys haven’t seen them in a while so if I just start yellin’ out names it’s just gonna lead to confusion.” Bones explains. “But thanks.” He adds, as an afterthought. Jim is trying to get them to sit on the grass and wait patiently, ushering the fair skinned Darcy and little Natalie under the cover of a nearby thorn tree. JJ and Melody stay close to Nyota, who lavishes her attention on them, asking Melody questions about school and her younger brother.

“So you’ve made some new friends then?” Nyota asks.

“Yeah, I miss my ol’ friends too but these ones seem nice enough.” Melody nods. “It’s cool having Nat in class with me, even though we’re not twins or nuffin’ like that. I turned seven in July; I’m one of the youngest in my class.”

“Do you and Natalie get on well then?” She asks.

“Sometimes I think Nat thinks I’m irritating, 'cause I’m younger ‘an her.” Melody explains. “But she’s my sister; she’ll be eight soon; I’m getting her a necklace made of shells. Pops was telling me about them, said when he and Daddy were here last there used to be a little place down on the beach that sold ‘um.”

“That’s a lovely idea.” Nyota nods. “And what should Spock and I get her?”

“She likes mermaids.” Melody shrugs. “Even if they only live on Gololso Prime.”

Nyota smiles with amusement at the child’s crude attempt at pronouncing Golos Prime but Melody seems undeterred. They chatter away for a while before her fathers remember she hasn’t received her sandwich yet.

“Dee, I made a cucumber one for you, even cut off the crusts.” Bones says handing her a wholemeal sandwich wrapped in foil; he’s cut all the younger children’s sandwiches into four because, as Jim would say, he’s cute like that.

“Thanks, Daddy.” Even though most of the children refer to Bones as Pops, what with him being all Southern and whatnot, Melody calls them both Daddy. While this has caused confusion in the past, it’s usually on the part of the other children rather than Jim or Bones.

“You’re welcome, sweet-pea.” He says. “Make sure you hand me back the foil so we can put it in the recycler when we get home.

“Okay.” She takes the sandwich out of the foil carefully and folds said foil with just as much diligence. Her fingers are still slightly chubby and haven’t become the graceful, nimble McCoy hands she is bound to develop. Only Sloane and the younger twins seem to have the strong, fighter’s hands that bless the Kirks and god help anyone who winds up on the other end of  _those_  fists.

“Melody has informed us of Natalie’s up and coming birthday. Nyota had wondered what we should bring as a gift.” Spock informs Jim when he’s finally back from his rounds.

“Yeah, we’re thinking of heading down to the beach for the day. Lee’s got a thing about the ocean.” Jim explains.

“To the detriment of the whole goddamned family.” Bones mutters.

“Bones, it’s going to be October not January, do you remember nothing of our wonderful time in San Francisco?” Jim counters, fluttering his eyelashes. “Try and be a bit optimistic, eh?”

“You knew when you married me that optimism was never my strong suit, no point complaining now.” Bones says.

“I believe the terran turn of phrase goes something like ‘ _you cannot teach an old dog new tricks’_.” Spock suggests causing Jim to splutter forward with a burst of laughter.

“I am not old.” Bones huffs.

“Isn’t your fiftieth birthday in January?” Spock inquires, his brows knitting together as if he cannot fathom how anyone is unable to calculate their own age.

“You’re as young as the man you’re feelin’.” Bones states. “Right Jim?”

“Yeah, right.” Jim says, still chuckling.

“That is a highly illogical assumption.” Spock notes.

“You just don’t change, do ya?” Bones says, sighing.

…

It was nearing the October midterms before Jim and Bones managed to corner Sloane for more than a quick ten minute chat. However they weren’t really prepared to see her in a dirty grey jumpsuit, wrench in one hand and sticky black oil coating the other. She was under the hood of a car, the broad-shouldered outline of another cadet beside her – a  _male_  cadet.

“Sloane?” Bones says, loud enough to be heard over the tapping and banging of metal hitting metal.

“Oh, hey Pops.” Sloane says, wiping her dirty hand on her overalls; she almost makes the jumpsuit look halfway fashionable, trouser legs rolled up and sleeves folded to the elbow. The holes in the knees and across one shoulder ruin it for her a little bit but it is only an old engineer’s work suit, after all. “This is Adam.”

“Cadet Moorefield.” Jim says smoothly with just enough authority to let Bones know he’ll be assuming the role of bad cop.

“Captain.” Adam nods. Bones looks between both men and decides this poor kid isn’t going to win whatever battle Jim has set up in his head. Sloane is his girl, his not-so-little-but-all-the-more-reason-to-be-protective  _baby_ girl.

“Cadet could you explain to me what exactly it is you are doing out in the engineers dock under the hood of what would appear to be a non-standard issue vehicle?” Jim asks.

“It’s my car Captain; Lieutenant-Commander Fincher, he’s my assigned tutor, he said I could make use of engineering to fix it up before the midterm break. Sloaney’s good at this engine stuff so I asked her to pitch in.” Adam explains. And ‘ _oh fucking no’_  thinks Bones, ‘ _you did not call her Sloaney’_. Only Jim calls Sloane ‘Sloaney’, Jim takes a very personal, individualistic outlook on nicknames. It was like that one time when Gary Mitchell called Bones ‘ _Bones’_  back in their third year. What a fucking travesty that turned into. Calling Bones ‘ _Bones’_? How ludicrous!

“How long have you attended Starfleet Cadet?” Jim asks, tone turning gravelly.

“I’ve just started my final year Captain.” Because everyone already knows the answer to Jim’s question. Bones didn’t actually know for certain seeing as though he only saw a glimpse of Adam in one of the basic emergency medicine classes he supervises, but he does look about twenty-one, twenty-two. Not too old for a slap upside the back of the head by anyone’s book,  _that’s_  for sure.

“You wouldn’t be trying to pass the blame down to a lowly first year, now, would you Cadet? That seems less than admirable.” Jim states.

“No sir. I was just explaining how the situation came into being, as you requested.” Adams returns.

“Don’t be trite with me Cadet Moorefield, I can guarantee your record doesn’t need to see  _another_  demerit this semester.” Jim doesn’t give out demerits, never saw the value in them seeing as though he got so many during his time at the Academy and yet his behaviour never improved. He’s just being a bastard, even Bones can see that. ‘ _Shouldn’t have called her Sloaney’_ , he thinks regretfully.

“Jim, there’s been no harm done and this bay is clearly free. Sloane, be home for dinner on Sunday okay? We’ve missed you.” Bones steps forward to tug at her shoulder in an awkward but clearly supportive gesture.

“I’ve got my first exam Monday, I doubt I’ll be able to stay long.” She says, eyeing Jim with sour defiance.

“Bones I don’t think you realise the issue here.” Jim says, voice firm.

“I understand  _your_  issues, but this is completely ridiculous, dammit.” Bones whispers harshly, trying to retain some respect – they are still in front of two cadets.

“Lieutenant Commander McCoy could you ple–”

“Don’t you dare pull rank on me, Jim Kirk.” Bones warns.

“Look, the car is practically sorted if we could just get ten more minutes we’d be out of here and–”

“Moorefield.  _Adam._ ” Bones amends with a particularly Southern smile. “Please excuse Captain Kirk. The change of weather has been making him a tad irritable of late.” Adam, to his credit, remains completely serious, eyes widening in some sort of compassion or sympathy. ‘ _Naïve fool'_. Sloane on the other hand sniggers unabashed, a pink flush filling her cheeks.

“Could I have a word?” Jim looks at Bones, slipping his hand around Bones’ bicep and pulling him away from the garage. He looks back at the two cadets who refuse to watch them but must be straining their ears to hear the spat that is surely going to ensue. “Do not embarrass me in front of cadets.”

“You’re doin’ a fine job of that yourself.” Bones counters. “You’re being a pigheaded asshole Jim. An’ you wonder why Sloane doesn’t wanna come home?”

“S’got nothing to do with me.” Jim huffs, frowning. “He’s twenty two Bones; he’s too old to be hanging around with seventeen year olds.”

“Adam is a nice enough kid, Jim. If it’s a mistake it has to be her mistake. You think she’d let him anywhere near her if he was half the asshole you think he is?” Bones asks. “She’s not a baby anymore Jim.”

“She’s not an adult either.” Jim barks, and he winces when he sees Sloane’s head snap up, eyes searching him.

“She was adult enough to enlist in Starfleet a year early, you didn’t mind that; don’t mind her maybe running off and getting herself killed but God forbid she get a boyfriend.” Bones shrugs, completely incredulous. “Is there an ounce of sense in that fool head of yours? Or has hanging around all these twenty year olds started a regression processes?”

“What about you? You’re being all 'cool-dad, don’t care about nothin’' Leo McCoy? Where’s the worry? The crippling fear that our  _baby girl_ ’s growing up way too fast?” Jim demands.

“While she’s here she’s close Jim, she’s here with us. Safe on terra firma. I don’t want to drive her away because she’ll be gone sooner ‘an we know. We’ll blink one day and we’ll wonder where they all went.” Bones says; his voice, having lost its anger grows in melancholy.

“I’m not going to apologise.” Jim pouts.

“That’d be too unprofessional, I suppose?” Bones grouches.

“I’ll apologise to you though, if it’ll make you feel better.” Jim offers.

“That’s no reason to be apologising, dammit. Don’t want it anyway.” Bones huffs. “Can we maybe go home now?”

“Yeah okay.” Jim says, pouting. The pair walks back over to Sloane and Jim extends the invite of Sunday lunch along to her  _friend_  as long as it won’t interrupt their midterm revision too much. Sloane seems placated by her father’s humility but who can tell, what with her being half Kirk an’ all.

…

 Jim and Bones lie in bed that night, Jim’s cheek is settled on Bones’ chest feeling the steady rise and fall. Bones is pretending to read some medical journal, but his arm is slightly too limp to suggest he is actually taking any notice of what is written on the PADD in his hand. Jim can feel the tender circles Bones’ thumb is rubbing into his spine and he knows he has his husband’s full attention. ‘ _Time to strike’,_ Jim thinks, smirking. He turns his head just so, so his breath can ghost over Bones’ skin. Then in one fluid movement Jim is straddling Bones, pressing a line of open mouthed kisses along his clavicle. Bones gasps in a most unmanly fashion, gripping Jim’s hips to steady himself, even though he’s lying down. That’s what Jim does though… Makes him feel like the worlds axis is shifting around them and he needs to be anchored. When Jim’s lips finally make it to his, Bones is half unravelled and already so overwhelmed, PADD forgotten somewhere on the floor.

Their kissing is harsh and fast and suddenly they’re hard and breathless.

Bones flings one arm out to the bedside cabinet, managing to get the drawer open while maintaining a firm grip on Jim’s erection. The drawer ultimately ends up on the floor with its contents pretty much everywhere, but the lube has been triumphantly located and Jim makes a mewl of appreciation when Bones’ ‘ _finally goddammit’_ pushes inside him. They actually establish a much more languid rhythm than their frantic rutting would have anticipated, meeting each other at every thrust. Bones keeps their foreheads together with a firm hand in Jim’s hair and Jim, eyes fluttering closed before widening again when Bones gets it  _just_  right, rocks up and down like he has absolutely  _no choice_.

“Oh God.” Julia’s shrill exclamation drowns out their moaning and Jim stills, rigid, unintentionally clenching and drawing another groan of pleasure from Bones. “Oh God.” She repeats, quickly closing the door, her litany of apologies receding back down the hallway.

“Goddammit.” Bones says.

“You can’t stop; Jesus, please don’t stop. We’ll talk to her la–” The rest of the sentence is swallowed in another kiss. Tender this time. Lingering. Bones grinds one last time, slowly, grazing perfectly over Jim’s prostate and they both come  _hard_. Eyes scrunching closed and seeing stars.

“Fuck.” Jim pants.

“Again? Jesus Jim, I’m nearly fifty; give an old man a break.” Bones’ voice is weak from the exertion but a gentle smirk has settled on his face.

“I thought you weren’t going with the old man thing just yet.” Jim says, flopping off Bones to lie beside him.

“You know as well as I do that I’ve been going with the old man thing since I was thirty.” Bones replies, resting his head on Jim’s shoulder.

“Twenty-five even.”

“Don’t push it.”

…

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” Julia says when Jim pushes open her bedroom door. “I won’t ever mention it if you won’t”

“Come on, it’s not like you don’t know we do it.” Jim jokes. “And out of all the times we’ve been caught… well you got it pretty easy.”

“Oh  _wow_ , that is  _so_  not cool. I totally thought I said I didn’t want to talk about it; are you, like,  _deaf_? Is that a side effect?” She deadpans.

“So sassy.” Jim says, sitting on the end of the bed. “What’cha reading?”

“Cosmo.”

“ _Space chic_?” Jim reads the front cover. “Is that seriously a thing?”

“Yeah it’s like military chic back in the like twenty first century, maybe you remember that?” Julia smirks.

“Hey!” Jim exclaims. “Unfair. I’m the young dad remember?” Julia frowns, her disbelief clear, pointedly flicking a page.

“So ah…?” She prompts.

“I just, you know, we just… I don’t know, you’re not too weirded out are you?” Jim asks.

“You’re not, ah, losing your cool are you?” Julia mocks, smirks again, and flicks another page.

“Jim Kirk is the definition of cool, I’ll have you know.” Jim assures her. “Anyway, I actually wanted to talk to you about being here, you know, how you think everything is going?”

“It’s taken you over two months to ask how we’re settling in?” Julia asks, setting her magazine down.

“Jules don’t be like that, you all need time to settle in; how would you have known what you really felt a week after being here?” Jim asks.

“Well I guess that’s fair. It’s a split barrel really.” She begins. “Sloane loves it; Alex misses Lo of course but is stoked about being in the Academy; Noah loves it too. Finn, well, not so much.” She shrugs.

“What about you?” Jim asks.

“I don’t know. I’m not really good at anything the ‘Fleet offers. I don’t want to work for Starfleet but school’s school. I’m old enough now that they kind of listen to what I say when I tell them I have no intention of joining but it kind of makes me feel like I’m taking the place of a kid that desperately wants it.” Julia admits.

“Me and Bones are looking to get Finn into another school; we haven’t said anything 'cause we don’t want to get his hopes up and because it’s already halfway through term, but if we found somewhere, would you want to go too?” Jim asks.

“I think I would. You should talk to Darcy too, she’s starting to enjoy herself at ’Fleet more but it might just be for show.” Julia suggests.

“I will.” Jim pulls Julia into a hug, her hair muffling his quiet “thanks Jules.”

“Anytime.”

…

Why Pike decided to invite him for a walk down by the beach in the middle of December is really beyond Jim. Not that  _he_  minds the cold, so much, but Bones’ bitching that morning made it perfectly clear what his husband currently thought of the Admiral, e _specially_  when Jim had decided to bring Natalie, Melody and JJ down for the little adventure too. Luckily when they had ventured down this way for Nat’s birthday they had had lovely weather. Now though? Not so much. The wind pulled at their coats, threatening to lift JJ clear off the ground. ‘ _Told you so, you goddamned moron’_ ; Jim could hear Bones’ voice, tight and laced with worry. Pike hadn’t said much on the way down and Jim braced himself for a confrontation, tracking the days back in his head to try and remember some breach of regulation or misdemeanour.

Reading the look on Jim’s face Pike laughed and settled a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry Jim I haven’t come down here to scold you. Not really my place even if you had done something wrong.” Pike sighed. “I, er… I have to come clean about something. I’m not proud of dragging you here on false pretences but I knew that if I’d told you during that call when you were still in Riverside I’d never have gotten you this far.”

“Admiral?” Jim ventures, the right balance between ‘ _get on with it’_  and respect.

“There have been a few  _disturbances_ in the Klingon Neutral Zone, strange occurrences.  _The Clement_  was sent to investigate but they vanished… We sent three or four more ships, nothing’s come back. I lied to you Jim when I said  _The Enterprise_  was likely out of commission for another few years. Figured if she was there as temptation you might decide a teaching post wasn’t worth the journey.” Pike stops to assess Jim, the _‘risk assessment’_ face, Jim thinks.

“What are you asking me to do, Christopher?” Jim asks, not hiding the challenge in his gaze. 

“We can’t keep sending ships out there that don’t come back. No one would accept the mission even if they were under orders, its suicide. But I think… I have a few, ah,  _theories_. I’d go out there myself but the Admiralty has ruled against it. Until it proves a real threat to the Federation they’ve decided to deprioritise it.”

“Ignore it you mean.” Jim interrupts.

“It’s a precarious situation Jim.” Pike says.

“But you want me to buckle up and execute some of your grand theories?” Jim states more than asks. “There are loads of Captains in the ’Fleet that would jump however high you asked ‘em. If the theory’s so fool proof why hasn’t the Admiralty latched onto it? With all due respect, sir, I’m not really thrilled at the prospect of a suicide mission.”

“It doesn’t have to be a suicide mission, Jim. The Admiralty have given me the green light if I can get together a team; I just can’t use anyone already commissioned.” Pike explains.

“So you’re going to get a team of retirees and dismissed officers and start up some sort of rouge mission to face what? A fleet of Klingons? What are we even up against?” Jim demands.

“We don’t know.” Pike admits.

“Yeah, good luck getting a team together for  _that_  shambles. I’m sorry Admiral, I just… I can’t.” Jim says his voice gravelly and terse.

“People are getting hurt Jim; outside of the officers we’ve lost when they strike, whoever they are, they strike  _hard._ Several planets on the border have reported mass casualties.” Pike says.

“And no one can tell us what we’re up against?” Jim asks.

“Seems not.” Pike takes in a deep breathe. “I should probably tell you that I’ve asked Joseph to come on board as a medical officer.”

“No.” Jim says. “You’re not putting my son on a ship that you can’t promise we’re not going to lose. No… No.”

“He’s already agreed, Jim. If all goes well he’ll come out of this as a Lieutenant Commander; ships’ll be begging for him as a CMO.”

“And if it goes to shit he won’t come back at all.  _No._  This isn’t going to happen. He’s twenty four years old, Pike, he can’t make this decision.”

“You were twenty five when you captained the Enterprise.” Pike reminds. “Joseph’s celebrating his twenty-fifth birthday in February isn’t he?”

“Don’t do that.” Jim huffs. “It’s different.”

“Why is it different?” Pike asks.

“I need to talk to him. When does everyone leave for this suicide attempt?”

…

Jim was never very good at hiding things from Bones. And now Bones was probably going to kill Christopher Pike. It was such a shame all of this was happening so close to Christmas.

“Jim?” Bones’ sleep clogged throat whispered from the hall. It was about three o’clock in the morning; the study was dark, only the moonlit sheen from the hallway helped Jim to see the glass of whiskey on the desk in front of him. The room was drenched in darkness again when Bones stood in the doorway. “Drinking alone Jim? You should see someone about that darlin’.”

“Spoke to Pike today.” Jim says, still clinging to sobriety.

“Oh yeah?”

“He wants me to Captain some suicide mission to the Klingon Neutral Zone.” Jim says plainly.

“Well I suspected he wanted you back here for more than a teaching post.” Bones admits.

“Joseph’s joined up.” Jim says, this time slow, and he even has the good grace to gulp in waiting for Bones’ response. Bones blinks as if he doesn’t recognise Jim anymore. “But its okay I’m going to talk to him. Pike can’t make him go.”

“He’s more like you than I care to admit.” Bones says after a moment. “What’s the mission? Why isn’t a commissioned ship taking it?”

“They’ve lost every ship they’ve sent up there, apparently. I don’t know what to do Bones.” Jim sighs. “If Joseph won’t back down… I can’t let him go on that ship alone. Pike said people are dying, Bones. It feels wrong to sit back knowing others are unprotected, just waiting in harm’s way. Not to mention the officers we’ve lost… What if they’re stuck somewhere; what if we can get to them in time and bring them home?”

“As long as you come home, and you bring Joseph with you, I don’t much care.” Bones says.

“You don’t mean that.” Jim scoffs. “You don’t have to agree you know. Ask me to stay and I’ll stay.”

“I could never  _ask_  you to stay grounded Jim. Yeah it’s technically my fault you were grounded in the first place but maybe… well its different now isn’t it. We’re not a new fragile couple, young men that don’t know their places. If you need to do this you need to do this. You belong to the stars just as much as you belong to us. Just make sure whatever Pike has planned is sound, it needs to work because you need to come back.” Bones explains, voice soft, he’s silencing the ‘ _whatever you do please don’t die, dammit, please’_ but Jim can hear it plain as day.

“What if I don’t come back? I don’t want our children to have to grow up with one absent parent. I don’t want them to grow cynical or resent me for leaving them.” Jim admits.

“You will comeback Jim. But if you don’t like your odds then just politely refuse Pike’s request.” Bones shrugs. “I’ve got a shift at the hospital. I’d like to talk to Joseph; I might be late home.”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to do it?” Jim asks.

“I’m sure. We’ll talk about it more later on, okay?” Bones seems wary, hesitant; like he’s not sure Jim isn’t going to disappear on him.

…

Bones found Joseph bent over a neurology simulator in one of the practise bays off the main lab in the medical building. Obvious really. Joey always was stupidly good at intricate brain work; it seemed to be born out of some early idolisation of Bones but was perfected through the competitive Kirk nature Jim had conditioned into him.

“So I hear Pike wants you for a mission when you graduate.” Bones didn’t expect Joseph to make any acknowledging movement even though he must have been unaware his father was in the room with him. Bones didn’t expect anything less; a steady hand was the most important tool a doctor had.

“Something in the Klingon Neutral Zone.” Joseph admits without looking up.

“Jim’s joining this suicide mission as well, you know. However, I expect you both back and in full health regardless of what happens out there.” Bones says, his voice scarily level for the kaleidoscope of emotions that are exploding inside him.

“You’re not going to demand I stay here? Rip me a new one for being a stupid reckless son of a bitch?” Joseph questions, finally looking up and switching off the simulator.

“That’s no way to talk about Jim, Joe.” Bones smirks when Joseph chuckles. “I’m scared kid, I’m out of my mind with fear and anger and  _dammit_.” Bones pauses. “I’d love for you to turn around and say ‘ _actually admiral this just isn’t for me, sorry’_  but you won’t.”

“No I won’t. People are dying out there and the Federation won’t do  _anything._ ” Joseph grits out. “I just don’t understand. Pike’s said that they’ve deprioritised it… But how can they when so many planets have been targeted? The causality toll in Donatu V was horrific; Pike said even the Klingons seemed scared.”

“Must be dire.” Bones says. “When is this thing meant to be happening?”

“As soon as they can find someone to Captain the ship; they’ve filled most every other position, even roped Boyce into coming out of retirement.” Joe smiles.

“Phillip Boyce is the CMO of this ship?” Bones can’t believe what a mishmash crew this is turning out to be. Old, young, retired, decommissioned… a bunch of reprobates if you ask him.

“They were going to ask Commander Darrow, he was the most recent CMO of the Enterprise, but he’s already departed for a five year with  _The Rotherham_.” Joseph shrugs.

“You told Elle?” Bones asks.

“She thinks I’m stupid; won’t talk to me, says I’ll probably die.” Joseph laughs. “I don’t intend to.”

“You make sure you don’t.” Bones smiles, clasping his son’s shoulder. “I’m very proud of you Joe, I really am.”

“I know. S’nice to hear though.” Joseph matches his father’s smile. The resemblance between the two men gets stronger as Joseph gets older; they’re the same in all aspects apart from the eyes. Jim secretly thinks it’s lucky, makes it more believable when he introduces Joseph as ‘ _his eldest’_ and is only slightly resentful of Jocelyn. Seems silly to resent a dead woman when he has so much; so,  _so_  much.

“You should talk to Elle; it’d be nice to have you both round the house for an evening. Sloane’s being ever more distant. Seems like every month that passes she runs further and further from us.” Bones admits ruefully.

“She’s just try'na spread her wings.” Joseph reassures. “I’ll let Elle know you’d like to see her.”

“She’s a nice girl, hang onto her.” Bones says.

“I’ll try.”

“That’s all we can do.”

…

When Bones comes home the house is silent. The lights are out. He’s not scared because confusion is what fills him. He pauses and listens harder. There is small chatter coming from upstairs. So Bones mounts the stairs trying not to make too much noise; through habit he skips the fifth stair and then remembers that they’re not in Riverside and these stairs don’t squeak.

“‘Second to the right’, said Peter, ‘and then straight on till morning.’ ‘What a funny addre’– Oh, Bones.” Jim looked up, seeing Bones’ silhouette in the doorway. The only light in the room was coming from an old fashioned candle Jim kept as a joke that he used every so often as a ‘romantic wooing tool’. JJ was sitting on Julia’s lap and Natalie and Melody were sitting at either side of a cross legged Jim, trying to look at the pictures of the book in their father’s hand. Bones didn’t want to upset the delicate balance of the bed and so leaned against the doorway, hip out slightly. “Hey kids, would you give your Dad and me a minute?” Jim asks, dog-earing the book page and setting it aside.

“Can we finish this chapter before dinner?” Natalie asks.

“Sure kiddo, I just need to talk to Pops about something.” Jim smiles, and the girls bound out, Julia following them with JJ balanced on her hip.

“Peter Pan?” Bones smirks. “I know it’s your favourite and fittingly-so but should you really subject the children to it?”

“They love it.” Jim says, standing up and straightening the bedclothes.

“Where is everyone else?”

“Finn is still at the Academy; can you believe he actually wants to spend time there now?” Jim pauses, genuinely shocked by Finn’s new appreciation for Starfleet Prep.

“Well it’s your fault for making that death-trap fly!” Bones counters, still completely against the pseudo-hovercraft that Finn’s skateboard has become.

“Makes sense to have one engineer in the family. Always thought it might be Darc’ myself. She’s at Sophie’s house, by the way. And Sloane came by to help Alex with his astrophysics; Noah went out with them for pizza after.” Jim explains.

“You’re letting them eat pizza on a school night? But what about dinner with us?” Bones asks.

“They have dinner with us every night.” Jim shrugs. “They wanted to spend time with Sloane.” He adds.

“How was she?”

“Good.” Jim says. “She dropped off an assignment I set their class. I can’t give her anything less than full marks.”

“She takes after you like that, too smart for her own good. You ask about Adam?” Bones wonders.

“He’s still on the scene. I asked her whether she thinks the fact he’s a twenty two year old man going after a teen is weird but she ignored me, so I took that as a no.” Jim shrugs.

“There’s more of an age gap between us Jim.” Bones reminds.

“S’different. I was twenty two and an adult and Sloane is still a kid, you know?”

“Yeah Jim, I know.” Bones shakes his head, pulling Jim towards him by the forearms.

“How did things go with Joseph?” Jim’s voice is much quieter now they’re closer, like they’re sharing secrets.

“Good; Elle’s not happy he’s doing this mission.” Bones adds. “You’ll be departing soon I hear, now that Pike has found his captain.”

“January 5th. Pike commed me after my last lecture today.” Jim says.

“That’s like two weeks Jim. Jesus, he might as well take you on Christmas Eve and just really twist the knife.” Bones frowns. “I invited Christine around for Christmas Eve dinner, Roger as well.”

“I’m not sure I like that guy.” Jim says, ignoring his outburst.

“Well she seems happy enough. I’ll call the kids back in.” Bones says. “You mind if I turn on the lights downstairs, don’t want to ruin the atmosphere or nothin’.”

“It’s cosy up here with the lights off; you can turn them on downstairs though, I’ll just close the door. Sophie’s mother is dropping Darcy off at seven, already fed and whatnot. We’ve just got to make dinner for six.” Jim says; they had already planned for Riley and Cameron’s absence at dinner since they’re on a field trip, not returning back on Campus until 2200.

“Long time since I’ve made dinner for just six.” Bones smirks.

…

Bones sat across from Pike in silence, merely assessing the Admiral with the slight wish to rip the bastard’s throat out, but he knew that was just a primal urge and not something he  _really_  wanted to do. He wanted answers and he wanted reassurance.

“I don’t even want to guess what you must be thinking of me now Leonard.” Pike says.

“No I don’t suppose you do.” Bones replies, letting the gruffness flow freely.

“I don’t want you to think this is some conspiracy attempt to put your family in harm’s way; you just happen to be related to some very talented people whose service I need.” Pike explains, tone smooth like an Admiral’s should be.

“They don’t make it back and you’ll make eleven children very unhappy Pike, you just remember that.” Bones says. “Unhappier for the fact that their second parent is doing federal time for beating the ever-loving Christ out of an Admiral. I’m a doctor, I can make it hurt.”

“There’s the Leonard McCoy I know and respect.” Pike smiles. “Jim’ll come through this. He’s not made to die.”

“You better be right. How long is this really going to take? Jim keeps evading my questions, but I know he knows, so it must be a pretty long stretch.” Bones says, not bullshitting about.

“No more than a couple of months; that’s what we’ve predicted anyway but I can’t be sure. We don’t know all the variables yet.” Pike admits honestly. ‘ _So that’s why Jim wouldn’t say anything, because he couldn’t give a straight answer’._ Bones nods. “I hear Boyce is joining this escapade too.”

“Phillip owes me a favour.” Pike says, shrugging noncommittally.

“Nah.” Bones shakes his head. “Boyce’s said something like ‘ _if I’m going to die I’m going to do it properly’_. No lounging around in a retired veteran’s complex.”

“I forgot he was your academic advisor.” Pike says.

“If all goes well are you going to ask Jim to Captain  _The Enterprise_  full time?” Bones asks.

“Honestly? Yes. But I have no doubt he’ll politely decline.” Pike shrugs. Bones doesn’t reply but instead thinks ‘ _he might not, once he’s back in the swing of things, get the taste for it again’._

“He’s young enough still; forty three is the sort of age when most normally make Captain in the first place.” Bones muses.

“I’ll do my best to make sure he comes home to you, Doctor.” Pike promises.

“S’not really anything you can do once they’re up there. But if they don’t come back… Well I won’t be thinking this rationally.” Bones warns.

…

“So Pops threatened Admiral Pike did he?” Julia asks, picking up a handful of baby sweet corn from a bowl in the kitchen.

“Hey! I  _just_  chopped them!” Joseph calls.

“Just don’t put any on my plate, that’s totally fair.” Julia says, evidently not bothered by her brother’s domestic attempts.

“But that’s a whole handful! Are your hands even clean?” Joseph demands.

“You sound like Pops.” Darcy laughs. “Are all doctors so anal?” Cameron bursts into laughter at the use of that particular word, earning an exaggerated sigh from Darcy and a muttered ‘ _boys are so stupid’._

“Back to the point guys. Pops. Pike. Showdown.” Julia says.

“Yeah, can you imagine, going up against an admiral.” Finn grins. “Pops’ a legend now.”

“Yeah until he gets himself dismissed for unbefitting conduct of an officer.” Noah counters.

“Shut up, textbook.” Finn says to his twin. “What are you, a Vulcan?”

“Who’s a Vulcan?” Jim asks upon entering the kitchen, heading straight for the carrot Joseph is now cutting.

“Unless you want to lose your fingers, Jim, step away from my carrots.” Joseph grouches.

“Wow that’s freaky.” Jim says, tentatively pulling his hand away. “Bones, your son is threatening me! Help!” He calls, causing Joseph to scoff. It’s okay when they joke about not really being father and son, Joseph knows Jim would throw himself out of a shuttle for him and doesn’t ever look at him as anything other than a father – they’ve worked for their relationship and in some ways it give them an added edge.

“You probably deserve it.” Comes the call from the dining room.

“There are so many things I could shout back right now but I won’t because there are children present!” Jim shouts, not defeated in the slightest.

“Okay darlin’, you can tell me later.” Bones says, suddenly behind him. Bones hands are on his hips and he kisses Jim’s nape. “Need a hand there, Joe?”

“Nah, it’s mostly done now. You and Elle set everything up in there?” He nods at the wall that backs onto the dining room.

“Yeah. We had a bit of a chat too.” He pauses. “She just scared, kid. Told her there wasn’t any use runnin’ though, not with that Kirk stubbornness you’ve got; wouldn’t surprise me if you got there and back in a week. Mission complete.” Bones says.

“Do you have to go Dad?” Riley asks quietly, looking up at Jim.

“It’s important that I do Ry. People are getting hurt and going missing and we have to help them.” Jim says, ruffling Riley’s hair. “Don’t worry about us kiddo, we’ll be fine.”

“You promise.”

“I promise.”

…

Julia’s sweet sixteen was the first thing the Kirk-McCoy household needed to face before  _The Enterprise_ departed. She requested a small gathering with just a few of her friends, the girls she’d gotten close with since joining the local high school after the October break. Alexander was spending another weekend in Riverside with Lola much to Jim’s disappointment, but Alex just seemed to be pushing himself away. Jim knew somewhere inside him that this was a futile attempt to sever ties, to ready himself for Jim potentially not coming back.  He couldn’t blame his son. He couldn’t blame any of them. Bones was sceptical about leaving ten sixteen year olds to their own devices for the evening but Jim assured him that Julia was a sensible girl and they’d all be fine.

“It was nice of Spock and Nyota to have the kids this weekend.” Bones said, spooning cheesecake in the direction of Jim’s mouth. Jim opened his mouth, making sure his bottom lip was pulled out over the metal fork. “Tease.” Bones mutters.

“When was the last time you took me on a date?” Jim asked after swallowing.

“The last time we were at the Academy?” Bones jokes.

“It feels like it. You think they’ll manage?” Jim asks, looking unconvinced.

“Well we manage well enough. Nyota probably has them pinned in place.” Bones says.

“You’re right.” Jim smiles. “When are we allowed back into our house?”

“I said the music and movies and downstairs stuff had to be done with by eleven. Then they’re off to the bedroom to do whatever it is teenage girls do.” Bones shrugs.

“You say it like we haven’t already dealt with Sloane.” Jim laughs.

“But she was such low maintenance. Julia is like a princess.” Bones sighs.

“She gets that from you; debutant roots.” Jim says, chuckling at Bones sputtered denial.

“I found Starfleet applications on Alex’s desk; he’s going to apply a year early like Sloane.” Bones says, knowing that Jim is unaware of the papers.

“Accelerated command?” Jim asks.

“Not by the looks of it. He’s going for the full four years, wants to do a joint effort, command with advanced navigation.” Bones replies.

“’Least we’ll keep him close for another year. He’ll have to get a recommendation if he’s starting early.” Jim says.

“Pike gave Sloane her letter; can’t he just do the same for Alex?”

“No it’ll more likely be Bishop, seeing as though he’s technically Alex’s commanding officer. It was different with Sloane because she wasn’t at the Academy.” Jim explains.

“Starfleet brass has funny ways about ‘em.” Bones says.

“That they do.” Jim darts his fork into the last chunk of cheesecake. “You want?”

“No Jim, you work away. I can’t consume as much junk as you can and still remain in any desirable shape.” Bones grumbles.

“You’ll always be desirable to me Bones.” Jim smiles.

“So you say now.” Bones scoffs. “Eat that and we’ll take a slow walk back, see what mess has become of the house.” Bones says.

“Yes sir.”

…

Christmas was the next hurdle and it was an unmitigated disaster. Sloane brought Adam along because his family were stationed off planet; Alex almost ended up in Riverside but Bones caught him last minute, and Elle demanded she come along too because she wasn’t spending any unnecessary time away from Joseph. That seemed particularly strange; Elle had never before seemed clingy, but maybe this was her coping mechanism. Jim wished people would just stop trying to  _cope_  and act normal.

“I don’t want to be here.” Alexander spat.

“It’s Christmas.” Bones says.

“I don’t really care.”

“You’d think you’d want to spend as much time with Dad before he goes on his mission.” Darcy counters.

“Shut up, Darcy.”

“Don’t speak to her like that.” Julia snaps over the table. “It’s not her fault you’re being a little shit.”

“Julia.” Bones warns. “Language.”

“You can shut up as well.” Alexander shouts in Julia’s direction.

“Well this is pleasant.” Sloane says, setting her box filled with presents down in the doorway. “Merry Christmas. I bet other species are glad they can miss this one out, it makes people completely lose it.”

“Mr McCoy.” Adam offers a polite wave and an awkward smile; the boy still clearly can’t get over how many of them there are and his discomfort secretly makes Bones slightly gleeful.

“Adam. Sloane would you take those presents into the sitting room; Jim’s in there helping the little ones with theirs. Take Darcy with you, please.” Bones asks, his temple starting to throb.

“Come on, Darc’.” Sloane says, ushering her little sister back into the hall. “It’s nice to see you too.”

“Sorry Sloane, Merry Christmas, your gifts are under the tree too!” Bones adds.

“Bribery!” She declares. Bones turns back to Julia.

“Gives us a minute baby-girl; don’t you wanna open some of your presents?”

“I want you in there with us, not out here tending to fuckwit’s hurt ego or whatever his damage is.” Julia bites.

“Don’t call your brother a fuckwit.” Bones gripes. “Give us a minute, please; I want to talk to Alex.”

“There’s nothing to talk about. He’s abandoning us and you’re letting him.” Alex scowls, deep and hateful.

Bones takes a long glance at his son; when did he start looking so hurt, so pained? “He is not abandoning anyone; he needs to do this, people need him.”

“ _We_  need him.” Alex urges.

“He’s going to come back to us.” Bones pulls Alex into a hug, he can feel the boy go stiff before his shoulders slump and his finger’s pull at his father’s shirt, clawing and needy. “We are going to be fine, all of us. Don’t push him away; we miss you.”

“If I don’t spend time with him than it will hurt less if he doesn’t come back.” Alex says. “If I hate him I won’t miss him.”

“ _Oh baby boy_.” Bones sighs, rubbing soothing patterns into his son’s back. “Don’t hate Jim, Alex. He’s doing what he thinks is best.”

“I’ve been shitty lately, haven’t I?” He asks, pulling away to look into Bones’ eyes.

“No more shitty than we’ve all been at one time or another.” Bones says. “Let’s just keep the shittyness at bay today.”

It’s when they’re sitting at the dinner table that the next outburst occurs.

“Do you have to go?” Alex asks suddenly. “Like, have you been ordered?”

“No.” Jim says slowly. “My service has been requested.”

“So you’re making a choice, a choice to possibly die and leave us.” Alex asks, his voice harsh. Melody’s eyes widen and it looks like she might cry. Bones wants to pull her into his arms but he doesn’t want to worry her any further. So he just watches, looking at Noah, and Finn, and Darcy, and Cameron, and Riley, and Natalie. Sloane’s doing the same, while Adam looks away awkwardly.

“That’s not the choice I’m making Al; I’m making the choice to captain a ship that may potentially save people.” Jim explains. “I’m not going to die.”

“You don’t know that.” Alex refutes.

“Alex we’ve talked about this.” Bones says. “Not today.”

“Yeah.” Alex replies numbly. “Okay.” Then dinner resumes, the only sounds are knives and forks hitting against plates. Then Elle stands up, excusing herself. Joseph looks after her and frowns.

“I’m going to see if everything’s alright.” Joseph says, standing slowly.

“What do you suppose that’s about?” Julia asks.

“Who can tell with women?” Bones shrugs.

“Certainly not you, anyway.” Jim says.

“Oh thank you, Mr Womaniser.” Bones replies.

“You are more than welcome, baby.”

“Don’t  _baby_  me.”

 _“Pregnant?”_ Is all they hear Joseph ask from the hall.

…

Six weeks along apparently. Elle’s contraceptive jab had been part of a faulty batch that was supposed to be recalled but wasn’t, and now she was pregnant. While it was a serious shock at least it gave them an explanation for her slightly hysterical behaviour of late. Joseph seemed rather chuffed actually. It reminded Bones of how he had felt when Jocelyn had told him he was going to be a father. The main source of the problem was, of course, the huge ‘what if’ cloud that was currently hanging over their family. In this case ‘what if’ Joe doesn’t come back and that baby grows up without a father. This seemed to raise the most concern in Jim; he tried his hardest to convince Joseph to stay, but Joseph’s argument was ‘if we’re not going to die then you don’t need to worry’ and other phrases to that affect.

“You’re going to be a grandpa.” Jim says, sitting down one evening in front of an old holovid.

“I don’t feel old enough to be a grandpa.” Bones admits. “JJ’s only three.”

“Four by the time the baby’s born.” Jim adds.

“It’ll be Sloane next.” Bones teases.

“Not for another twenty years, it won’t.” Jim refutes.

“Sorry, my mistake.” Bones scoffs, then he laces his fingers with Jim’s. “I’ve told Elle she’s more than welcome to stay here if she’s feelin’ lonely. It’ll be tough being pregnant on her own.”

“With all our lot she won’t exactly be on her own, will she.” Jim says.

“Lucky she’s on the med track or she might have had to take time out. She’s got a meeting with Barnett to reschedule any mandatory physical elements of the course and she’s only cleared for any sim work up until the second trimester.” Bones says.

“Don’t smother her.” Jim warns.  

“Elle is very appreciative of my advice thank you very much. Unlike some I could mention.” He nudges at Jim. “You all set for take-off?”

“Meeting the crew down by the loading dock at 0900.” Jim nods.

“It doesn’t seem like we’ve had enough time.” Bones admits.

“I’ll be back before you know it.” Jim smiles. “Please don’t worry about me; I know you will and it’s pointless to ask, but I will be  _fine_ , Bones.”

“You just make sure you are.” Bones huffs, looking at Jim intensely for a moment, cataloguing the face he knows so well one last time. “Let’s go to bed, Jim.”

…

The kids all got up early to make sure they could have a good helping of hugs and kisses before Jim and Joseph departed. Alexander looked slightly disorientated, what with having to get up so early when it was still Christmas break, and Julia hadn’t even bothered to use her well negotiated three extra minutes in the bathroom. Elle sat with JJ on her lap as Sloane let Jim pull her into a hug. Even now Sloane seemed distant but it seemed to melt away when she whispered a quiet ‘ _please come home, daddy’._ Her voice small like it had been when she was a child.

“I don’t want the last thing you think of me to be some spoiled brat who was difficult and wouldn’t come home ever, it’s just… I don’t know.” She pulls away, looking away from Jim. “I was just trying to shrug out of your shadow, maybe? I didn’t want you ruling my life… But I don’t care, not really, not now.”

“Hey, hey.” Jim says, placing his hands out as if Sloane is a startled horse. “It doesn’t matter. I know I’ve been awkward, hard on you but it’s going to be fine. You’re going to be _fine_ , Sloaney. No matter what happens. And I love you kiddo. You know that, right?”

“I love you too.” She smiles weakly and steps back so Darcy could attach herself to Jim’s waist.

“You be good.” He warns. “And try and keep out of trouble.”

“Sir, yes, sir.” She salutes, grinning at him. “I’ll try anyway.”

“S’all you can do kid.” Jim says, smirking. “Don’t give your Pops a hard time, okay?”

“I can’t make any promises with that one.” Darcy matches his smirk.

“Will you bring us back something if you stop off at any planets?” Cameron asks, not reaching for a hug because he’s far too old for that sort of nonsense; Riley doesn’t hold back though.

“I’ll see what I can do.” Jim laughs, winking. Alex is next. Stepping forward in a military like fashion.

“See you in a few months.” Alex says.

“Right, yeah.” Jim nods, unsure of how to work around his cool indifference. He wants to brush the fringe out of his sons eyes and really make Alex  _look_  at him; see the apology and the hurt that Jim feels. “Love you, kid.” Is all he says, but Alex just nods and leaves the hallway.

“He’s just being stubborn.” Julia says. “We’re all going to miss you a lot. But we understand how important it is. He knows too, he just doesn’t want to have to face it.”

“Just watch out for him, please?” Jim asks her, stroking the ends her soft brown hair between his thumb and index finger. “And Bones too.” He whispers when he pulls her into a hug. Sloane might be the eldest girl but Jules’ has always had something matriarchal about her, like Eleanor McCoy.

“I promise.” She says, stepping away. Jim casts his eyes over to Joseph who now has Elle in his arms, hissing a litany of promises into her neck. Sloane’s holding JJ and he’s waving at Jim, not sure why Sloane is telling him to say ‘ _goodbye daddy’_ but saying it anyway. But then Melody rushes forward, clearly unhappy with the proceedings.

“Never say goodbye.” She says, looking up with wide, adoring eyes, repeating words she’s heard so many times over the course of her short life. “Because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting.”

“That’s right, Dee.” Jim says, crouching down to her level. “But this is only a temporary goodbye because I’m not going away for a long time, just a while. Only a few months, remember?” She nods, and then begins to cry, which sets JJ off as well. “Hey…” Jim says softly, scooping her into his arms. “We’re okay aren’t we? You don’t need to cry.”

“I don’t want you to leave.” She heaves between sobs.

“I know baby, and I don’t want to leave you guys either.” He holds her close to his chest for a while, just rocking her slightly. Then he leans over to kiss JJ’s forehead. Sloane pulls Melody onto her other hip and then sets them down on the stairs. Jim gazes over his children and for the first time since Darcy had meningitis, he feels helpless.

“Come on now.” Bones says with an unfamiliar chirpiness in his voice; he clasps his hand around Melody’s much smaller one, rubbing his long fingers over her knuckles. His drawl is more soothing than Jim’s could ever hope to be and Melody nods and wipes away her tears. Bones doesn’t let go of her hand though, and one by one the rest of the children exchange their goodbyes; Elle ending up bursting into tears of her own when Jim tells her to ‘ _mind his grandchild’_. Then Jim really looks like he just wants to take off his jacket and tell Pike to fuck himself.

“Don’t mind me.” She says. “Hormones.”

“I’ve never made a pregnant woman cry.” Jim says, not sure whether he’s trying to lighten the mood or genuinely drained.

“Not knowingly anyway.” Joseph jibes, kissing Elle’s temple. Then Finn, with his brown hair and McCoy brown eyes, with his bravado and his skater’s air, slips his hand into Elle’s and smiles up at her.

“Don’t worry.” He says assuredly. “This is James Kirk we’re talking about.”

“Of course it is.” She says mildly, allowing herself to smile back. “How silly of me.” Finn laughs then and lets her go, frowning at Noah who’s staring at him.

“What?” He asks.

“Nothing.” Replies his twin with a scoff.

“Why don’t you two check on Alex, huh?” Bones suggests. “And Darcy, why don’t you put a holo on for the little ones?”

“Right.” Darcy nods, clearly getting the hint. “Melody. Nat.” She gestures her head at the sitting room door. Sloane sets JJ down, who immediately toddles after them, and the younger set of twins start a tirade of movie proposals, all of which Darcy dismisses. The adults watch the hall empty and then look around at each other. Julia doesn’t seem to feel she fits but doesn’t want to miss a second of time with her father. It’s harder for the older children; they know what’s at stake.

“Right.” Joseph breaks the silence, standing tall and confident. “Pops.” He offers in Bones’ direction and he nods. “Look after her for me.”

“Not that she needs it.” Bones says.

“No, but still.” Joseph glances at Elle who doesn’t seem happy to be spoken about like a piece of fruit on a market stall.

“Still.” Bones smirks, then he looks at Jim. “You sure you don’t want me to come with you down to the dock?”

“You’ll only have to drive back on your own.” Jim reasons.

“S’pose.” Bones shrugs. “Take care of yourself then.”

“You know I will.”

“No, what I know is that you’ll work yourself to death, won’t sleep or eat and end up looking like a wreck.” Bones grouches.

“With a McCoy on my medical team? I doubt it.” Jim counters, slapping a hand on Bones’ shoulder and clutching at the material of his t-shirt. “We’ll comm you in a couple of days, I promise.”

“I’ll be ready with my medical opinions, just so you know.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

…

 

 


	2. Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission doesn't go as smoothly as planned and the McCoy-Kirk family are thrust into a devastation unlike anything they've faced before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With much thanks to iseult1124 for the beta - you're a diamond! 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy it, let me know either way.

_March 2277_

In all honesty Leonard was rather glad Jim was gone for his fiftieth birthday, because then it could go by without much fuss and he wouldn’t have to fake enthusiasm or be called out on being a miserable bastard. But as January continued to pass he contemplated all the other birthdays Jim would miss this year. Alexander was turning seventeen today, and while it wasn’t a  _milestone_  age it felt significant. But maybe that was because Alex was currently trying to convince Leonard that he _wasn’t_ drunk beyond belief.

“M’not ‘unk.” He slurs.

“Oh really?” Leonard questions. It hurt because Alex looks so much like Jim; the Jim from his Academy days, the vulnerable boy who didn’t know his place in the world. He looks so much like Jim you wouldn’t think McCoy genes had interfered at all.

“Yup.” He says, triumphantly.

“Well I do beg to differ.” Leonard says, not even attempting diplomacy.

“Y’always do.” Alex says, stumbling forward to the stairs.

“Hey!” Leonard calls. “I’m not finished with you so get your scrawny ass back here.”

“M’tired. S’my birthday I can do what I want and I want to go to bed.” He states.

“You do, do you?” Leonard asks. “Well tough shit. You’re seventeen not twenty one and until then your drinking habits are my concern. So sit.” He points at the stairs.

“M’not even ‘at drunked.” He giggles suddenly and then scowls.

“Well you’re plenty drunked enough to be making up words.” Leonard reasons.

“Drunked can be a word if it wants.” Alex mutters.

“How did you even get booze?” Leonard wonders, more to himself than to Alex, but the young boy doesn’t seem to realise that.

“Told some Cadets it was my birthday, went for a drink.” He shrugs.

“Did you tell them it was your  _seventeenth_  birthday, by any chance?” Leonard asks.

“No but they knew I was  _James T. Kirk’s_  son so nothing else really mattered. Told them all what a right utter prick he is as well.” He huffs. “One girl even cried, and then we made out, now I feel kinda guilty.”

“Well you would do; what would Lo say if she found out?” Leonard scolds, shaking his head, what is he meant to say? Cause he sure as hell doesn’t know.

“Don’t matter ‘nyway. Lo dumped me last week, said I was being too miserable and she wouldn’t listen to me bitch about Kirk all the time.” He huffs out a breath and turns away. “Said she needed a guy who ‘as more mature. I told ‘er to fuck herself.”

“Oh Alex.” Leonard sighs, sitting down beside him on the stair. “Storing up all this hate ain’t good for no one. Jim loves you; don’t ruin that by demonising him.”

“Look. I get it. I’m a stupid teenager who don’t know nothin’ but I’m angry and it won’t go away.” Alex says, torn between leaning into Leonard’s embrace and tearing away from it. “Now Lo’s gone and I dunno what I’m s’posed to do. Going back to Riverside on the weekends made me forget, I could pretend we still lived there and we weren’t here and our ‘amily weren’t so fucked up.”

“I’m sorry kid. I wish you’d have come to us before, told us what was going on in that stubborn skull of yours. But we’ll get through this. We always do.” Leonard tries to smile.

“Our luck’s gonna run out sometime.” He says before passing out against the banister.

“Not just yet though.” Leonard whispers. 

…

It had just been a little over three months since _The Enterprise_ had departed from the San Francisco shipyard. They’d been steadily trying to track this mystery starship and had prevented three attempted planet-wide attacks, as well as playing refugee ferry for a fourth. It was Admiral Pike’s belief that this ship, whatever their motivations were, was gunning against the Federation; that in some way this was a terror campaign. They were going to start on the edge of Federation space and work their way to Earth with the sole aim of leaving utter devastation in their wake. No one had been fatally injured among the crew yet but it was a close thing. Boyce was a completely different doctor to Bones and didn’t chastise Jim for his foolhardiness but seem to appreciate that Captains sometimes had to do reckless things – that probably came from serving under Pike for all those years on the Yorktown.

Joseph was another thing entirely. He wasn’t allowed to treat Jim but he’d often fuss around him whenever he ended up in Sickbay. Joseph had the McCoy eye roll, eyebrow raise and unamused lip purse down, all he needed now was that rough growl and some light snarling and he’d have Bones’ (specially reserved for Jim) bedside manner practically mirrored, blue eyes or no. Currently Jim was in Sickbay with a broken hand and deep phaser burning from beaming down to an away mission gone awry. _The Enterprise’s_ sensors picked up readings similar to those they had all the previous times they had been confronted by the mystery ship; Jim had beamed down to the currently undocked Starbase with a small but elite away team and for the first time ever they had actually been confronted with what must have been the crew of said ship. There had been a _minor_ scuffle before the hostile crew had beamed away. But, it had been a long enough scuffle for Jim to realise that they were a human crew.

“Are you going to comm Pops tonight?” Joseph wonders, adjusting the settings on the osteo-regeneration unit. Boyce is currently in surgery treating the Head of Security who nearly had her head caved in by one of the hostile crew members.

“Yeah, but we’re not going to tell him about this.” Jim says raising his hand. “Or this.” He says shrugging his chest as if to gesture the phaser burn.

“That’s not how I roll, Captain, Pops gets a full report on all of your scratches and scrapes and I get Elle’s maternity stats.” Joseph shrugs.

“You two are the most overbearing-”

“Shhh.” Joseph huffs. “It’s a McCoy thing.”

…

“He was drunk?” Joseph repeats.

 _“_ Stupid drunk _, Kirk_ drunk _.”_ Bones looks highly unamused from what the vidscreen shows but Joseph chuckles slightly in a futile attempt to normalise the whole situation.

“Excuse me, what do you mean by _Kirk_ drunk?” Jim demands with a haughty eyebrow-raise.

“Maudlin, snappy, completely ridiculous.” Bones clarifies. “That’s what I mean, Jim.”

“Don’t you _Jim_ me. It’s not my fault; I’m not even there!” Jim counters.

“Exactly.” Bones mutters.

“I told you if you didn’t want me to go I wouldn’t go.” Jim grits out and Joseph suddenly realises this is turning from a bit of a tiff to something a little more serious.

“Of course you were going to go Jim, people are dying out there and you need to be out there, but just because you’re not here doesn’t mean you don’t affect the kids. They miss you like hell. We all do.” Bones says.

“I’m sorry!” Jim huffs. “What do you want me to do? Shall I turn around and come home? It’s not that simple, Bones.”

“I fucking know that Jim.” Bones counters.

“Hey, guys, let’s not fight.” Joseph interjects, holding up his hand. “Why don’t you talk about everyone else, Pops; how’re the others doing?”

“Fine.” Bones huffs.

“Pops.” Joseph cautions.

“Julia did really well on her prep tests for finals. She’s thinking of applying to UCLA’s art department. Hopefully she’ll get the internship she wants at that little art studio down in the Castro. Sloane has been helpin’ Finn customise the hover-board, much to my eternal dismay. Noah’s in emotional turmoil over what track he’ll enrol in when the time comes ‘round, because he wants to get somethin’ useful for his birthday next month and he thinks he won’t be able to if he can’t decide on a specific track. JJ got into a kindergarten fight yesterday and I had to pick him up from school. Everyone else is the same as always, I guess, or at least the same since the last time we spoke.” Bones shrugs.

“JJ got into a fight?” Jim questions. “He’s five.”

“He’s more like you than you realise, and he punches like you too.” Bones huffs. “And no, it’s not funny so you can both stop your smirkin’.”

“Sorry, Pops.” Joseph grins. “How’s Elle doing? And my baby?”

“They’re fine kid; she’s glowin’, really she is.” Bones assures him. “She’s real busy though, making sure she gets as much work done as she can until she wants to start maternity leave.”

“She’s taking care of herself, though?” Joseph asks.

“We all are, son.” Bones says. “You just worry about yourself.”

“Well there’ve been a few close calls but nothin’ too heavy. They’re a human crew. Stronger, though, and faster. There’s something off about the whole thing.” Joseph shrugs. “Just dunno what, yet.”

“We’re not moving as fast as we should be; we’re gonna be out here a little bit longer than planned.” Jim admits reluctantly.

“How much longer?” Bones asks.

“I just don’t know, Bones.” Jim sighs. “I’m sorry.”

…

Jim feels like shit for the rest of the week; he has this constant niggling in the back of his mind that when they return he’s going to be in for a real verbal dress down and his kids are gonna flip as well. But they don’t really have a choice – they’re in this for the long run now. All of them.

It hits even closer to home when they are hailed by the hostile ship and for the first time Jim comes face to face with the enemy Captain. He introduces himself as John Harrison in a grave, sonorous voice that would raise the hackles of even the bravest beast. He stands straight, tall, chest pushed out and confirming to the world that he runs his ship with brutal precision and effortless power. When the eyes of this _murderer_ smile Jim loses it.

“Let me explain what’s happening here; you are a _criminal_. I have watched you murder innocent men and women. I have been authorised to _end_ you and the only reason that you are still alive is because I am allowing it.” Jim grits out.

“You are allowing it?” Harrison questions slowly. “Is it not perhaps true that the only reason that _you_ are still alive is because _I_ am allowing it?” And Jim is forced into silence, a defiant sneer plastered across his face. “You have seen the strength of my crew and yet you still believe it is you who is in control.”

“What do you want?” Jim questions, his patience wearing thin.

“Recognition.” Harrison says. “Freedom.”

“And you’re achieving that by massacring innocent civilisations and warring with Starfleet?” Jim snaps.

“My crew and I are over three hundred years old.” Harrison begins. “Augments, genetically engineered remnants of a time gone by; we were created to lead people to peace in a time of war. We were condemned as criminals and sentenced to exile; we built a ship, hoping that when we awoke the world would be better than the one we left behind.”

“And is it?” Jim questions.

“It will be, when we are restored to our rightful place as leaders.” Harrison nods.

 “Why would anyone follow you?”

“Because we are better.” Harrison says.

“At what?” Jim scoffs.

“Everything.”  Harrison counters.

“This is insane.” Jim counters.

“This is war. And now your ship will be the newest conquest to add to our annihilation. Is it a comfort to know that the ships you came here in search of are destroyed?”

“Shields up.” Jim orders. “Cut the connection, we need to warp and get Pike on the line.”

…

When Bones opens the door and Pike is standing there, in that horrible grey uniform, stiff collar and even stiffer posture, solemn face; he knows what’s coming. He steps aside for the Admiral and they head towards the small room off of the lounge; Jim’s office. They each sit on one of the two chairs across from Jim’s side of the desk, as if at any moment the blonde might bound through and claim his rightful place among them. Bones pours two tumblers of Bourbon, swallowing his helping in one acid-burning gulp before handing Pike his. The silence is the most telling part of the whole scenario. Pike isn’t complaining about Jim or congratulating Bones on the feats of his two eldest children; he doesn’t ask about work or how the kids are getting on at ‘Fleet prep. He has the eyes of a man who has lost something precious, unable to shake the constant ache of it – lost a son maybe. But Bones wants to make Pike hurt, wants to spitefully revel in the old man’s discomfort in a futile attempt to assuage his own loss.

“We lost contact.” Pike says finally, tumbler still untouched.

Hearing it aloud hollows out the last of whatever Bones was clinging onto. He feels empty and bone weary. He rubs the fingers of one hand into the dips of his knuckles on the other, trying to remember Jim’s touch, what it meant, each nuance of his skin against Bones’. He nods slowly, realises Pike is waiting for him to say something, _anything_.

“When?” Bones asks weakly. Knowing the details, all of them, knowing the specifics allow him to distance himself from the loss; from the hurt and the pain and the fear and the all-encompassing need to cry.

“Yesterday, just after 1500.” Pike says. “We tried to get them back online. It’s just like all the other ships… there’s no trace of them.” They stare at each other, Bones’ silence forcing Pike to continue. “I’m sorry, Leonard.”

“I don’t want your apology.” Bones huffs. “I want my son and my husband.” He grits out, refusing to give this evil old bastard his tears.

“I know.” Pike says, gulping, as if sitting across from this broken man is like staring down a lion.

“Are you any closer to knowing who’s doing this?” Bones says. “Is there any chance we’ll get them back?”

“It’s classified, Leonard, I can’t-”

“Yes you _can_. You just damn well won’t. My family is out there and I want to know if there is _any_ chance of getting them back.” Bones states.

“The other ships, the ones that went missing… Jim said Harrison admitted to destroying them. They’re a group of augments, hid themselves in the black in cryotubes to escape prosecution over three-hundred years ago. A man named John Harrison is their Captain. The Enterprise was trying to outrun them, that’s when we lost contact.” Pike explains.

“You don’t think there’s even a chance they might have got away?” Bones asks, voice barely above a whisper.

“Leonard…” Pike reasons. “I’ve been up all night with a team in HQ screening what was their coordinates. There’s nothing there. The Enterprise is gone.” He sighs. “I’m so sorry.”

“You should be.” Bones whispers, voice hard and unforgiving. “And I think you should go.”

“You’ll be given compassionate leave and-”

“I don’t want it.” Bones states. “Just go.”

Pike lets himself out. Bones just sits there. Waits for an hour to tick by on the old fashioned clock Winona gave them when they first moved into the ranch in Iowa. Its ticking is soothing where it was once a mild irritation; Jim said it used to help him think, get his thoughts in order when he too much going on in his head. Bones tries to let it wash away all the thoughts breaking around his head, like waves in the tumultuous sea. But he can’t just think about himself, he has eleven children and the mother of his grandbaby to worry about. It’s a Monday, they’re going to be home in a few hours; he needs to make dinner, needs to tidy, to sweep the back patio, to sign permission slips and send them to Principle Bishop. He needs to do all this and be at the clinic for his 2300 shift start.

He needs to call Sloane and Elle, make sure they stop by this evening. 

Because he needs to tell them.

_Oh Christ._

Elle finds him sitting despondently at the bottom of the stairs. It’s about 1600; the kids are going to be home any minute. Elle has tear tracks down her face and is clutching a PADD to her breast. Her baby bump makes him think of Joe, what a wonderful father he would have been. Bones doesn’t know how to process the loss of a child; Jim, at least, seemed inevitable in some way. Bones had made peace with the fact that being with someone in the command track meant sooner or later death might come a’knocking. Does it make it easier? No. But it does make it more straightforward to process. Captain dies protecting the ship (and the entirety of the fucking Federation once again). Joe shouldn’t be dead. Shouldn’t be lost to the abyss of space. He was just a kid, just starting out in the world, making a name for himself… working from the bottom up.

Bones has lost his son and it hurts so bad.

Elle holds his hand, sits beside him on the step. He whispers soothing lies into the stagnant air of the hallway, promises her everything will be okay. But he’s crying and so is she, and nothing seems like it could ever be okay again.

She helps him with dinner, cutting vegetables in silence while Bones makes a list of people that need to be called.

Alex just looks at Bones and must know immediately because his eyes well up and he has to frown to hold the tears in. He can read Bones just as easily as Jim always could. He looks at Bones like he’s been betrayed. Maybe he has. Alex is like Jim in so many ways that it hurts to look at him; to see the messy blonde hair and the big too-blue eyes makes the emptiness inside Bones all the more prominent.

“Don’t say it.” Alex says. “I don’t want to hear it.”

“Al.” Elle sooths, trying to hold him to her, keep him from lashing out.

“No.” Alex says, stepping back out of the kitchen.

Bones doesn’t have the strength to go after him. It’s another failure he’s made as a father. Looking at Alex right now is like looking at a dead man, a dead man that Bones was in love with and it hurts too much to bear.

Sloane make him feel much the same, except she clings to Bones; wants his warmth and reassurance when Bones needs it too. But he’s being selfish, so he lets her take and take, lets her weep for her brother and her father and makes up the spare bedroom so she can be around her family.

Nyota comes as quickly as she can, holds a sobbing Melody on her knees while Spock paces the dining room looking pale-faced and stoic.  Bones wishes he had those lines of defence, had the ability to control and tame the emotion within him. Natalie asks too many questions and none of the adults are in a sound enough mind frame to offer her the leeway a nine year old deserves.

“I knew thirteen was an unlucky number.” Darcy says to Noah. She turned thirteen on May 3rd, four days ago and, for all her McCoy blunder, she a superstitious little mite; takes everything as a sign, always looks for the hidden meaning. Noah tells her her age has nothing to do with this, tells her she’s being ridiculous. She shrugs, doesn’t know how else to react to the news; she never cries, not even when she’s bloodied from Hockey or bruised from going too hard in simulations. She’s thirteen going on thirty.

Nyota asks Bones what he’s going to do about work; he tells her he’s refused time off and she purses her lips, looks disappointed.

“I understand you think working will take your mind off things, but it might not work like that Leonard, and you might put someone’s life at risk.” She scolds. “You need to be here for your children, not working yourself into the ground. They need you; you can’t cut yourself off from them in the hopes it’ll hurt less.”

“I don’t _need_ your parenting advice.” He huffs.

…

He needs Jim. He lays in bed, wide awake, arm splayed out over the empty expanse of bed; Jim’s side, which should have Jim on it, nestled into Bones’ body. It’s JJ who comes in first, not quite tall enough to get up on the high bed without Bones’ help. If Bones is holding him too tight the four year old doesn’t say anything.

“I miss daddy.” He whispers, cuddling his tribble plushie, his voice thick from trying not to cry, trying to be a big boy.

“I know darlin’.” Bones whispers. “Me too.”

Melody and Natalie sneak into the room holding hands. They must have heard JJ leave his room, or maybe they made the youngest child go in first to test the waters. Bones feels like he’s being pieced back together as each child clamours under the covers. Bones is now smack bang in the middle of the bed, JJ curled in on one side and the girls sprawled out over Bones’ other side. Melody has her legs out of the covers and her head under them, pressing her cheek against Bones’ ribcage. Natalie just blinks at Bones, trying not to fall asleep but failing.  It’s a restless night for the four of them but Bones wakes up with a better idea of what he needs to do and who he needs to be.

He calls the hospital and takes two weeks compassionate leave, rings ‘Fleet prep and explains that the children are going to need their assignments and class work sent to his PADD because they won’t be attending the rest of their classes this week.

Elle moves into the spare room with Sloane, just until the baby is born, and then she’ll move back into the flat she and Joe had started renting off of campus. But she can’t be there right now and Bones understands that.

Pike has sent him a variety of comms; the first is the same letter Elle had received on her PADD, the one that meant Bones never actually had to tell her that the father of her baby was dead. There is one about the ceremony for the loss of the Enterprise crew, and another asks Bones about the arrangements for private funerals. There is a fourth that has Jim’s Captain’s log attached, but Bones can’t face that one now.

Military funerals are very traditional, and even though there won’t be bodies there will still be coffins.

Bones wants to comm Pike back and tell him he won’t be going, but he has eleven children to think about; twelve really, what with Elle being who she is to him now. He’ll have to be fitted for a new Starfleet dress uniform.

Christine turns up in the kitchen just as Bones is comming the tailor.

“What do you need me to do?” She says.

“I don’t know.” Bones sighs.

“Where is everyone?”

“I think they’re in Sloane’s room.” Bones says. “Well Alex is in his own room, just won’t come out; didn’t for dinner last night or breakfast this morning, just leaves the damn tray outside his door. Kid’s gotta eat but he just refuses to.”

“Would you like me to go up and speak to him?” Christine wonders.

“I’d hate to think what he might say, Christine. I don’t want you hearin’ him the way he’s been going on lately.” Bones says. “I have to comm Winona. She’ll have had her letter by now but she hasn’t called. I should-”

“I’ll pop my head into Sloane’s room, make sure things are al-” But she stops herself. “Well, I’ll just let them know I’m here.”

“Thank you.” Bones says, picking up his comm and tapping in Winona Kirk’s frequency.

_Leonard?_

“Winona.” Bones greets. “I don’t know if Pike commed you-”

_He did._

“I’m sorry, Win.” Bones says. “I should never have let him go.”

_Maybe not. But we’re who’s left now, Leonard, and we have to make the most of things. Christopher said the funeral will be on Thursday. I have a few things to wrap up here and I’ll be on my way to California then. I’m sorry about Joseph; Christopher said his girlfriend is expecting._

“She’s six months along.” Leonard says. “I know we haven’t spoken as much as we should have, you know how thick-headed Jim can be. _Could_ be. But he did love you Winona; it’s just you two didn’t always see eye to eye is all. Both had a lot of baggage in regards to the other.”

_I know Leonard, and I know I would have seen those children more if I’d have made the effort to be around. That Jim wouldn’t have had so much reason to mistrust me if I had been Earthside more when he was a child. I know you’re the reason I saw you all as much as I did – you just make sure you keep on keeping your family together._

“Do I need to comm Sam?” He wonders.

_I think it would be better coming from you. I’m not sure Sam would answer my comms anyway._

“Well I’ll see you when you get here, then.” Bones sighs, cutting the connection before his mother-in-law can say her goodbyes.

Sam is still living on Deneva with Aurelan and the kids. Sam can come close to understanding the fear of losing everything; he almost did lose everything ten years back when a neural parasite threatened the planet just after Sam had moved his family there for a research project. Bones had been part of the medical team that had gone over with the antiviral; he’d actually been the CMO of that little expedition because of his flair for neural work. Sam had practically adopted him as a brother from that moment on; in some ways they were closer than he and Jim. Jim who still felt the sting of betrayal from being abandoned at age ten because Sam couldn’t handle their dear old ‘uncle’ Frank.

Sam tells Bones they’ll be on the first transport to earth they can get aboard and Bones just nods, mind completely numb.

Christine takes the little ones out for ice cream. Cameron and Riley refuse to go – they make it clear that they cannot be placated. Julia emerges from her bedroom looking ready to face the world, her hair is casually coiffed, she’s wearing a navy pinstripe pencil skirt and a pale pink cardigan, her makeup is pristine. She tells the boys to put on their light jackets, ties Darcy’s hair up into a high pony tail to keep the curls from growing unruly, nods her approval at Finn who’s ready and waiting, sans hover-board, by the door and plucks the warp theorem textbook from Noah’s grasp until he, too, looks ready to go.

Bones doesn’t know if Julia will try and catch up to Christine or if she has other ideas for her siblings. Bones feels rather redundant either way, like people are trying to force him into having nothing to do so he can try and work through his grief. But he doesn’t want to do that. He quickly realises this is his chance to talk things out with Alex, and Sloane too, and that he’d better get his act together and start being the father he’s needs to be.

“Al.” Bones knocks at his door; he doesn’t get an answer and toys with letting the boy have his privacy. But they need to talk this one through; Alex needs to know that Bones is here for him. When Bones walks in the kid’s face is pressed into his pillow; his shoulders are heaving gulping breaths.  His hands are clenched into the pillow, like he’s trying to smother himself. It makes Bones ache all over; he’s never seen grief like this on another person. He’s felt it himself though; lost his own father when he was twenty, just a bit older than Alex is now. He came home and cried and screamed and cursed, tried to rip his room apart board by board. Tried to rip his heart out of his chest – _anything_ to make all that pain stop.

“’o ‘way.” Alex mutters into the pillow. But he is pliant when Bones pulls him against his chest; lanky seventeen year old with his blonde hair askew and tear tracks running every which way around his face. Bones notices that he’s wearing Jim’s old Starfleet zip up – it still smells faintly of him, as well as the washing powder they use and the wood of the old chest of draws it’s been kept in for years, untouched.

Alex continues to cry into Bones’ chest, nails digging into the softness at Bones’ hips. He needs to hurt someone and Bones feels like it’s only right for him to be the one to fulfil that function. Soon Bones is crying too, and he’s stroking Alex’s hair and murmuring soothing words to try and alleviate the lung crushing hurt. Eventually Alex cries himself to exhaustion. Bones pulls back the duvet and settles him in and kisses his forehead, pushing his messy hair out of his face to do so. It’s the middle of the day so Bones commands the blind down, bathing the room in a dim light; like the brightness in a quiet field when the sun is just about ready to set.

Sloane is showing Elle old picture albums that Jim was obsessed with making when he and Bones first got together. The first few pages are filled with candid shots of Bones sitting on the sand or holding onto the railings of the Golden Gate Bridge; some have Jim in them too, face young and lively, sneaking up beside Bones with that ridiculously ancient polaroid camera that they bought in the twentieth century vintage wares shop in the Castro. In some of the pictures they’re in bed; Bones is either genuinely asleep or trying to hide his face in the covers.

“They look so young.” Elle breathes, Bones still watching silently from the doorway. “So carefree, like nothin’ could stop them.”

“They were I guess.” Sloane shrugs. “New love, no responsibilities.”

The pages continue and a toddling Joe starts to pop up; there are even a few photos from their graduation ceremony. He’s sure it was his mother who took them. And then Sloane is a warm bundle of sunshine in their arms. Joe holds her hand on that trip to the zoo, and sticks his tongue out at Alex a lot when he first comes along. Bones remembers just how much Joe used to cling to Jim, as if he had to always remind Jim why he needed to stay, why they were the better option over space.

“You were only six then.” Bones says gently; it’s a picture from Joe’s eleventh birthday party. It was just a family thing, Nyota and Spock were there too and he can see Sulu in the background. It must have fallen in line with shore leave.

“I miss him, Pops.” Sloane says. “And it hurts so bad.”

“I know baby-girl.” He says. “ _God_ , don’t I know.”

“It’ll get better though, right?” She wonders; pleads really. “It did with your daddy, right?”

“Yeah.” Bones nods, because it did, with time. Although, he thinks, losing his child is different; losing his husband… This might not get better.

His thoughts turn to Winona then; she lost her husband too and then pushed away her sons. He doesn’t want to push away his children, doesn’t want the loss of his one true love to chew him up and spit him out. She’ll be arriving sometime this evening, maybe he’ll ask her about it – how she gets up every morning without George in bed beside her. Did it get easier for her? The answer scares him, because he thinks the answer will be no.

…

Sam and his side of the Kirk brood make it to the funeral; he avoids Winona like the plague, sits next to Julia and holds her hand while Bones talks about his son and his husband. When Bones voice begins to shake Pike stands and holds him by both his shoulders, silently thanking the doctor for his sacrifice. He picks up Starfleet’s flag from the coffin and offers it to Bones, repeats words that are meaningless now, and Bones takes up his seat in between Alex and Sloane, James perched on his knee. Pike gives Joseph’s flag to Elle; has tears in his eyes when he tells her that that baby will not grow up without a home, that she won’t have to do this alone, that he and Starfleet will do everything they can by her.

She’s a numb as Bones is. They all are.

…

The baby comes two weeks early; August 2nd. He’s a tiny little thing with dusty blonde hair like Elle and Joe’s big blue eyes. Everyone points out the McCoy button nose and the fact that the kid spends an awful lot of time frowning.

It’s the first thing they’ve celebrated in a long time; even Sloane’s eighteenth had come and passed with barely a murmur. She’d requested a quiet day, just at home, close to those she loved. But this, this _life_ , after so much death; it seems like a relief, like the point where they’ll be able to move forward. Elle is nothing like Winona; she holds her baby close and sings him songs of rabbits and the stars. Bones breathes a sigh of relief, a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. The summer seems to have gone in a blur, everything leading up to this… And now he’s here. He’s safe. He’s loved. He’s perfect.

But the baby is nearly a week old and still doesn’t have a name.

Elle wants something meaningful but doesn’t want to brand this child as the child without a father, won’t call him Joseph or James or George, won’t let death mar his beginning. She certainly won’t call him Tiberius or Joseph’s equally embarrassing Beauregard – Jocelyn always was a traditionalist. Bones wanted to call him Joseph David but she said it was too plain, had no star quality.

Elle laughs at the thought.

“Maybe Beau.” She considers one evening. Bones is holding his grandson to his chest, rubbing soothing circles into his tiny back.

Sam is sitting with his youngest son Michael; he’s eight and doesn’t really feel comfortable around people, tends to stick to Sam’s side whenever he can. It means he spends a lot of time with the adults and, in a lot of ways, is more mature than Peter, who’s fifteen, and George, who’s eleven. Aurelan and Winona have taken some of the children out to get new school supplies. Sloane is getting ready to move back into the second year dorms and Alex has enlisted her help in moving his stuff over to the student campus too – and she’s enlisted Adam’s help, even though they’re ‘not dating’ anymore.

Sloane had broken up with Adam a few days after the funeral; he’d been a gem really, helping out with everything, but Sloane said she couldn’t deal with a relationship right now. That the thought of giving herself over to another man who could trample all over her heart was reckless and she needed to be clever and practical. Bones thinks they’ve finally fallen for each other but hopes to God he’s wrong. Falling in love with someone who’s so driven towards Starfleet is probably the biggest mistake anyone can make, and he doesn’t think Adam is as tough as Bones was. Sloane is going to go out into the black, regardless of what anyone tells her and, unlike Jim, she won’t let any man hold her back.

“I like Beau.” Sam says. “Don’t know about Beau McCoy though.”

“Two syllables would be better.” She nods. “You’re right.”

Bones doesn’t give an opinion, just lets the comforting weight of the baby in his arms keep him grounded. Sam and his lot will be heading back to Deneva in a few days because his children have school to think about too. Winona is going to stay until Elle’s parents get here; she doesn’t want the new mother to feel abandoned – maybe she’s trying to make amends too, trying to atone for the mistakes she made with her own children.

“Leo has two syllables.” Elle says gently.

“You can’t call that child after me, that’s no damn start in life.” Bones huffs.

“Don’t you go cursin’ in front of my child, McCoy.” Elle scolds; she reminds Bones of his own mother and thinks maybe the name might be fitting after all.

“Leo McCoy.” She repeats. “Least I can trust him not to go dying on me.”

“I always said you were somethin’” Bones says, but his smiles are jaded now. Sadness is mostly what prevails.

…

When the hubbub of September kicks into full swing everyone seems to come back to themselves. The world continues to turn and the Kirk-McCoys need to get with the programme. Bones doesn’t really want to be in San Francisco anymore; wants to tempt his children back from the clutches of Starfleet and encourage them to be librarians and apple pickers. But with Spock mentoring him via comm from New Vulcan Noah is certain that he wants to make a career in command. And Sloane and Alex have already signed their souls away to the academy, accelerated command – it seems to be the Kirk legacy.

Jules is his saving grace in many respects; she works in an art store and writes a fashion column for her High School paper. She spends her pocket money on acrylic paint and spends her free time making her resume as full and experienced as it can be for when she applies to art college.

Finn wants to be an engineer; he wants to tinker with warp cores and build the greatest flagship Starfleet has ever seen. Bones is still clinging onto the fact he can do all of that from the safety of Starfleet shipyards – and so from the safety of Earth. Natalie, and subsequently Melody, has decided they want to go to a normal school like Julia’s, and so they’re enrolled in the closest elementary school while JJ is enrolled in the adjoining kindergarten class. The fact that James is now in full time education means that Bones has more freedom with what hours he takes at the hospital; as a single parent, though, they make allowances, but he is head of department and there is a lot of paper work that has to be done, regardless of how many mouths he has to feed when he gets home.

…

Elle wants to host this year’s Thanksgiving. Bones doesn’t know how she expects them all to fit into her apartment but he doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. Sloane and Alex are doing their own Thanksgiving things with friends from the academy whose families are off-world or who simply don’t celebrate Thanksgiving. Bones isn’t the biggest fan of Elle’s parents; they remind him of Jocelyn and Clay and everything Southern his mother always taught him to dislike, that false courtesy and those to closely minded pees and ques. But it’s only one day and he wants it to be as normal as possible, wants to watch JJ valiantly try and teach Leo to crawl even if it never really works out.

Pike stops over that evening when they’re all back in their own houses and most of the kids are tucked up in bed. He has a bottle of Port under his arm and a worn look to his face. Bones doesn’t have the heart to turn him away even if he wants to.

“I don’t drink Port.” Bones huffs.

“It’s not for you.” Pike counters. He pours himself a glass in Bones’ kitchen and sets a report down.

“Why are you here, Chris?” Bones questions.

“Because you, this house, those kids; you’re all I have left of him.” Pike admits. Bones instantly feels like the worst person on Earth; how could he have made the Admiral feel like this, so alone, so guilty, and taken pleasure in doing so.

“I’m sorry, Chris.” He sighs.

“I know you are.” Pike nods. “I am too. I should never have brought him out here, never have told him about Harrison.”

“I mean for being so damn cold with you, bein’ such an asshole.” Bones says. “I just needed someone to blame; never even spared a thought for what you lost.”

“I miss him, Philip too.” He admits. “I’d like to help out around here, if you’ll let me. Spend some time with the kids, maybe? I assigned myself to Alex as his academic advisor. He and Sloane are doing really well. Sometimes I have to remember how young Alex is, remember that he isn’t Jim.”

“You’re tellin’ me.” Bones scoffs. “The kids would love to have you about. They need all the support they can get. I’m doin’ my best, or I’m tryin’ anyhow…”

“I know you are, Leonard.” Pike says. “Everyone’s said how well you’ve managed, how amazing you’ve been. But you need time too.”

“It seems like forever since I lost them.” Bones says softly. “And then again, it feels like every second I carry on breathin’ I lose them all over again.”

…

Bones is perusing through a newly released Andorian medical journal when his PADD informs him Jim Kirk’s comm frequency has come back online. Bones just stares, brows knitted together in confusion. He blinks once and then picks up his comm but it’s already bleeping, and it’s Pike on the other end of the line, and they think they’ve found the Enterprise, and _oh Christ_. Bones isn’t allowed to contact Jim’s comm because they can’t guarantee who has hold of it. They’re trying to contact the Enterprise directly and Pike will let him know the minute anything happens.

Jim’s _not_ dead.

 _Might_ not be dead. _Might._

And what about Joseph?

This isn’t a quick fix. This isn’t waking up from a nightmare.

Bones is no less husbandless than he was five minutes ago and his son, the father of his only grandchild, might still be floating cold out in the darkness of space.

 But they _might_ be alive.

Bones exhales.

…

He doesn’t tell the kids, can’t bring himself to. Not yet. Not until he has something concrete to tell them. Bones waits for Pike to comm, waits for him to turn up on the doorstep but he doesn’t. Two days pass before there is any word and then suddenly Pike has pulled all the kids out of their classes, Elle out of her shift as the clinic.

“We’ve regained contact with the Enterprise.” Pike says.

“Why doesn’t that sound like good news?” Alex asks.

“Because our crew, Jim’s crew, they’re not who we have contact with.” Pike says.

“Okay.” Sloane says slowly. “Well who do we have contact with.”

“A man named Igor Anderson. He’s ranked himself as a Commander but not aligned with the ’Fleet. He has taken over captaincy of the Enterprise. The ships that have gone missing… ‘Fleet ships. They’ve been capturing them, and posting one of their crew as a captain. They seem to be trying to create their own armada.”

“Who is their leader?” Alex asks. “Captain of their original ship?”

“John Harrison. Your father- Jim had been hailed by him before we lost contact; he sent us a recording of their conversation. They’re genetically modified, over three hundred years old. They kept themselves in cryostasis. We don’t know much more than that. The reason we couldn’t find our ships is because they’ve been recoded to fit within their armada, modified to lose any trace of Starfleet.” Pike replies.

“Are the crews alive?” Julia asks, because she’s stronger than most of them and not afraid of the truth; because she has dealt with her loss and now needs to focus on being practical, asking the questions no one else will.

“Not entirely. Although they refuse to give us the names of those they have kept hostage. None of which are on their original ships. They’re being held aboard Harrison’s flagship, _The Vengeance_.” Pike explains. “It seems they do a lot of damage to the ships before they take it over; try and kill as much of the crew as they can without doing irreparable damage, whoever survives is taken hostage. Maybe they’ll be held at random until a later date, maybe Harrison just wants to toy with us.”

“So what are you going to do?” Elle asks. “What is _Starfleet_ going to do?”

“We don’t know.” Pike says.

“Have they told you anything about the sort of numbers we’re looking at?” Alex asks. “How many of our lot are still alive? Seven ships have been lost to that asshole! That could potentially be over three thousand people.”

“I think we’re looking more around the three hundred mark, certainly no more. Perhaps closer to thirty.” Pike says.

“Thirty lives that we could still potentially save.” Sloane states. “Why won’t the ’Fleet fight him?”

“Because their weaponry is more advanced, _they_ are more advanced. We’d be fighting a losing battle.” Pike sighs.

“If we do nothing then we’ve already lost.” Alex says. “Even if dad and Joe aren’t up there, even if it’s thirty people I’ve never nor will ever meet. We have to try.”

“Jim would be so proud of you.” Pike says.

“With all due respect, Admiral, that doesn’t mean anything to me. I’d much prefer to do something than to be praised for than empty words.” Alex huffs. “And I think if he’s alive, that’s what _Jim_ would appreciate.”

“I’ll talk to the Admiralty. We’re really trying to figure this out.” Pike assures. “I promise.”

…

It takes another two weeks before anything seems to happen, and then the whole Armada is heading at warp to a location Harrison had provided them. It seems suspicious; too good to be true. Bones supposes it’ll be a trap of some sort, but he doesn’t particularly feel the overwhelming urge to voice that thought. He supposes the Admiralty already have a contingency plan in place for all possible outcomes of this meeting. He just wants to know once and for all if his family is going to be put back together or if they’re going to remain fractured ruins of what once was.

The ’Fleet lose a lot of people. Two ships are completely blown apart. More death. More destruction. Bones hears about every heart-breaking moment of warfare alongside Pike and Archer; the feed is fuzzy static more often than not but they get the general gist of it. Bones is only there because of the ‘Fleet’s fucked-up loyalty – he’s the widower of their bravest martyr; if he wasn’t invited people might talk. The bureaucracy of it all makes him sick to his stomach. But they wait for the tide to turn, for things to fall back in their favour.

And it does. Ten hours into the fray, ten hours of Bones walking in and out of Pike’s personal study, and Harrison’s men surrender out from under him. The six captains that have taken over Federation vessels bow gracefully in defeat. The ’Fleet have had to be careful with the damage they have caused their own ships, not sure where Starfleet personnel are being held. But in a game where numbers are everything Starfleet is the greater force, and these augments, with their enhanced intelligence, must have finally come to terms with this.  Harrison doesn’t surrender _The Vengeance_ as easily but by some unknown bit of luck its warp core fails and the command crew of _The Endeavour_ is able to beam aboard and apprehend him.

So far so good.

Pike and Archer listen on tenterhooks as Captain Borelli outlines the basic design of the ship. Bones only perks up once Borelli begins to list the ‘Fleet crew that has been found in the Brig.

“And Joseph McCoy is here, sir.” Borelli’s communication head relays over the comm. Pike immediately looks at Bones, whose breathing has become uneven as it tries to match the strange rhythms of his heart – a heart unsure of whether to be monumentally relieved, overjoyed beyond belief, or whether to be distraught all over again by the loss of its other half.

“And that’s everyone?” Archer prompts.

“Yes sir, it seems all sixty three surviving hostages were kept in the brig of the Vengeance; sweeps of our ships have found no one else.” The communications officer says. “No! Stop you can’t-” The ensuing tussle can be heard over the comm and then they’re greeted by a voice Bones has been dreaming of hearing for months.

“Admiral Pike?” Joe questions. “Is Pops about?”

“Right here, doctor.” Pike nods with a small smile. “Leonard.” He says, handing the small communiqué device over to Bones.

“Hey Joe.” Bones greets, overwhelmed by this touch of luck. He’s never been a man of faith but Bones thanks every God he’s ever been taught about a thousand times over.

“Pops.” Joe sighs with relief. “You okay?”

“I’m fine kid.” Bones scoffs. “I’d say it’s you who oughta be answerin’ that question.”

“I’m fine.” Joe replies, too quickly. “I don’t know how much they told you about how they finally got Harrison.”

“A failure in the warp core.” Bones says.

“Not a failure as such…” Joe counters. “Jim went down there, sabotaged the lot.”

“Oh.” Bones says, heart racing. “So he’s alive? Jim’s alive?”

“Doctor McCoy?” It’s a different voice, maybe Borelli’s. “I’m afraid I have some bad news.”

“You do, huh?” Bones says gently, really starting to feel broken, battered, bruised, and frankly, beyond repair.

“We found your husband, Captain Kirk.” Borelli informs him. “He was in the decontamination compartment of the warp core; I’m sorry doctor, I’m afraid he’s dead.”

“Have you told Joe, is he still there?” Bones asks; he needs his practical head on his shoulders now, no room for passionate outbursts.

“My first officer is with him now.” Borelli replies. “I am sorry. I can’t begin to understand how difficult these last few months have been for you an-”

Bones hands the comm back to Pike and walks out.

…

_January 2278_

It’s a bitter sweet ending to a truly bitter sweet year.

Joseph arrived back on Earth on the fourth of the month. No New Year revelries had been enjoyed; mostly Elle had readied herself to face the ghost of a lover she thought she’d lost.

“His name is Leo.” She tells Joseph upon his arrival into the house.

“It’s perfect.” Joseph says, finally taking his son into his arms. Bones watches them and wonders at the magnificence of the world. How that tiny moment of perfection, with Elle pulled close with one arm and a baby nestled in the crook of the other, could come out of so much devastation.

…

Bones is brought to see Jim in the morgue. But he isn’t faced with his husband on a slab or in a casket.

“Why is he in a cryotube?” Bones asks, looking down at Jim through the slightly frosted glass.

“We wanted to preserve him as best we could; it did take us nearly a week to get home.” The CMO of _The Endeavour_ explains. “It was McCoy’s idea actually.”

“I see.” Bones says. “Could I have a minute?”

“Of course.” He says, blushing with embarrassment. “Sorry.”

It turns out to be more like an hour. Bones just stands there, looking down into the glass. Jim’s eyes are closed; he’s just in his black undershirt and his standard issue trousers. Bones idly wonders where his command gold went to… whether or not his hair is still soft. He cries. Of course he does. More than he had when he was just faced with the abstract recount of death; now he’s faced with Jim, cold and unmoving in a cryotube. Like he’s sleeping. It’ll be preserving his organs; his brain function. But his irradiated cells will all still be perfectly irradiated.

…

Later that day Starfleet ask Bones to do the unthinkable.

“You’re the best doctor we have.” Pike says.

“It would break every code of practice I can think of for me to work with him.” Bones says.

“You wouldn’t let it affect you. I know the way you work Leonard. Your patients are all given equal respect and attention.” Pike counters.

“Not him.” Bones grits out.

“It’s just a few tests.” Pike reasons.

…

Bones lies in bed that night, Melody tucked into his side, because even after all this time neither of them can sleep on their own, and thinks about what Pike has asked him to do. Blood tests on Harrison, augment research, mapping out genetic profiles. It’s easy work, medically speaking. It’s just the emotional baggage that Bones can’t quite get past. How is he meant to face the man who ripped his family apart, who started this whole shit storm in the first place? He can’t do that. Not if he has to retain professional ethics at the same time.

Melody murmurs something about starfish and then turns over. Bones watches her for a few moments and catalogues all the parts of Jim he can see in her. The nose, for sure, the pale skin too, the curl of her eyelashes.

God he misses Jim.

Maybe working with Harrison will be in some way cathartic; maybe he can get some answers to questions that have been bashing around his head for months.

Sometimes he really hates working for Starfleet.

…

John Harrison stands like a man who understands the precise workings of the world, tall and proud, as if he could decimate empires with the wave of his hand. Maybe he could. Bones runs the blood samples with a strange sort of detachment, not unexpected but nothing akin to the way he usually works. He doesn’t look Harrison in the eyes, doesn’t touch his hands to Harrison’s pulse point. Harrison doesn’t seem too bothered by these turn of events; he is politely acquiescent to Bones’ ministrations and doesn’t act in anyway like the brutal savage he has been portrayed as. It makes it harder for Bones to hate him but he tries nonetheless.

“You’re the father of the young doctor.” Harrison says, about halfway into the second batch of blood screenings. His biological father I mean.”

“Yeah.” Bones nods.

“James seemed like an intelligent man; brash, infantile maybe, but intelligent nonetheless. I’m sure you’ll miss him.” Harrison states. A current of rage courses through Bones and he gently sets down his PADD, stepping up to Harrison with livid hazel eyes.

“Don’t you _dare_ talk about Jim.” He hisses. “Or I’ll put you back in that cryotube quicker ‘an you can say genetically engineered.”

“Tut tut, doctor.” Harrison smirks.

It takes everything Bones has not to punch the smug look right off Harrison’s face but then something distracts him, a gentle trill over in the incubator.

Bones’ dead tribble, the one he was using for tests… it’s alive.

“Now isn’t that something?” Harrison says, feigning amazement.

…

When he first explains the treatment to Pike he’s sure the Admiral thinks he’s gone mad. But once he’s started making the serum, starting coding sequences and making projections… once he’s started testing irradiated cells and they start to actually _regenerate_ … well Pike signs his permission for Bones to continue treatment and says they can deal with the fall out whenever it happens.

Jim’s been in that cryotube nearly two weeks. Bones doesn’t have much time if this is going to work. So he doesn’t stop. He just muddles through; twenty four hours turns to seventy two… two stimulants every four hours turn to one every hour on the hour. He’s cutting it too close, he needs to get this stuff into Jim’s system; the cryostatic conditions will only preserve him for so long now that he’s clinically dead.

“You need to come home Pops.” Sloane says from the doorway. “We haven’t seen you in three days.”

“I’m nearly done here, Sloaney.” He says, and he sounds like Jim. “I’ll be home soon.”

“That’s not good enough. You’re all we have left Pops; this is a pipedream, a one in a million. You can’t work yourself into the ground like this. When did you last eat? Have you been on stims this whole time?” She demands.

“Go home, Sloane.” Bones huffs. “I’ve got work to do.”

“You’re an asshole sometimes.” She says.

“He’s dead, Sloane.” Bones states gravely. “But he doesn’t have to be.”

“He’s not going to appreciate you neglecting his children to try and save him.” Sloane says gently. “Just come home tonight.”

“I’m starting the treatment tonight; I have to be here to monitor his progress.” Bones shakes his head. “I’ll come by tomorrow morning, have breakfast with the kids, and see you and Alex for lunch.”

“You better.” She says.

She leaves and he’s alone once more. He’s measuring dosages and getting a medical team to carefully lift Jim out of the cryotube, hooking him up to an IV line… watching as the biobed notes the weight on the bed but no life signs. Bones knows nothing will happen instantly. But when he does _finally_ inject the serum into Jim’s stagnant blood he hopes the biobed will kick back into action. He waits all night, holding Jim’s hand. The most touch he’s hand from his husband in months. But his hand is cold, freezing really. Not stiff because rigor mortis doesn’t occur in cryostasis.

But nothing happens.

It’s six o’clock. He should go home, spend some time with his children.

The biobed starts beeping.

Jim’s heart is beating.

_Oh Lord._

Bones comms Elle to let her know; he asks her to tell the kids he loves them and he will be home for dinner but right now he needs to be here. Needs to be around to hook Jim’s weak lungs up to a ventilator and start the transfusion process. Jim’s going to need a whole body full of fresh blood and he’s going to need the second dose of the serum. So Bones yawns, takes a couple more stims, and sets to work.

…

Christine comes in half way through the day with Joseph and Elle in toe, baby Leo nestled snugly in his carrier. They watch him from the door of the private medical bay; he’s massaging Jim’s fingers, under the guise of encouraging the best possible circulation, but really he just wants to soak up the slight warmth of Jim’s newly live body.

“Alex and Sloane are coming in at two; you need to clean yourself up or you’re going to scare them.” Christine says sternly. “You need a shave and you need to eat. I’ll monitor his vitals.”

“I can’t leave him.” Bones says.

“No, McCoy.” Christine huffs. “You _won’t_ , there’s a difference.”

“You comm me if anything happens.” Bones orders.

“I will, if you promise to spend the next two hours outside this room.” Christine agrees.

Elle follows Bones out of the room. She leads him in the direction of the staff bathroom, makes him lean against the sink as she methodically shaves away the rough looking stubble. She washes some of the darkness away from under his eyes, and sprays a bit of dry-shampoo into his hair even though he complains about it. Then she thrusts a toothbrush at him and goes in search of coffee and a bagel.

“It’s ham.” She says sliding the plate closer to him. They’re in the little staffroom off of the ward that Jim’s private room is a part of. “You look more presentable.” She says.

“Thanks.” Bones mumbles.

“I’m annoyed at you.” She admits.

“Oh?” Bones wonders.

“How much have you spoken to Joe since he’s been Earthside?” Elle asks. “Have you had a single conversation with your son since you miraculously got him back?”  

“Joe’s alive, Jim isn’t. I’m a doctor; it’s called triage.” Bones says.

 “If you continue on the way you’re goin’ Jim isn’t gonna _want_ to wake up to you.” She says. “Joe’s already lost a mother, and a father; he doesn’t need to lose you too.”

“I’m sorry.” Bones says, brows drawing together.

“You should go and sit with him. I’ll talk to Christine.” She smiles gently. “You’re a good man Leonard McCoy, don’t forget that.”

So they head back onto the ward. Joseph is sitting with Leo on his lap, chubby fingers curled around his thumb. Christine is checking the bio-monitor, looking very nurse-y even in her civvies. Elle says something _meaningful_ about getting coffee to Christine and the two women leave. Bones pulls up a visitors’ chair and sits next to Joe, rubbing a finger against his grandson’s cheek.

“I’m sorry Joe.” Bones says, letting his hand trail down to squeeze his son’s knee. “I missed you so bad. Grieved so hard. I should be smotherin’ you, it’s just-“

“I know, Pops.” Joe says with a nod to Jim. “They don’t get it. But… when it was just the two of us left, when the Enterprise had been taken out from under us – he’d talk about you; just little stories, some I knew, some I’d never heard either of you talk about. I get that you have to do this. I just- I missed you too, old man.”

Bones chuckles. He is so relieved to have his son back, so grateful. “I love you, Joseph.” Bones says.

“I can’t believe you let her call him Leo.” Joe says with an impish little smirk.

“I told her not to.” Bones huffs.

“You’re not the worse man to name my son after.” Joe grins. “He’s gonna be okay, Pops. You saved him.”

“We don’t know that yet.” Bones says. “I don’t know what Jim will wake up like. He was dead Joe, dead. For two weeks. If you hadn’t put him in a tube there would’ve been no going back.”

“He can thank me when he’s awake.” Joe smiles, taking his father’s hand in his.

“When.” Bones agrees, squeezing.

…

Melody and Natalie are sitting in the chair closest to Jim’s bed. JJ is bouncing on the end of the bed. Sloane is staring out of the window, holding Leo, showing him the trees. Cameron and Riley are in Bones’ office with Alex, sorting through the donuts Nyota and Spock had bought them for lunch.

For anyone else, waking up from a coma to the sight of children _everywhere_ might be slightly overwhelming. Jim just frowns, and then scoffs with a smile. Then he looks at the monitor and frowns again. “Oh, don't be so melodramatic.” Bones says with a smile. “You were barely dead.”

“And yet here I am.” Jim says, pulling JJ closer to him. “You’ve gotten big, kid.”

“I’ll be six next month.” JJ says proudly.

“It’s January?” Jim looks up to Bones.

“You were _d e a d_ for two weeks Jim, then in a _c o m a_ for another week. The transfusion took its toll.” Bones explains.

“Transfusion?” Jim wonders.

“Your cells were heavily irradiated, it’s the only thing we could do.” Bones says.

“Harrison?”

“All banged up and put to rights. I was testing his blood; seems it has regenerative properties.” Bones clarifies. “Tell me, are you feeling homicidal, power-mad… _despotic_?”

“No more than usual.” Jim shakes his head. “Is that my grandchild?” He says to Sloane, who has tears in her eyes. “He better not be yours.”

“Leo McCoy meet Grandpa Jim.” Sloane says, moving closer.

“ _Leo_?” Jim says. “We really need another one?”

“Pot. Kettle.” Bones say gesturing to JJ.

“He’s cute.” Jim says, offering the baby his pinkie. “Dee, you cut your hair.” He says.

“Yep.” Melody nods, her bangs bouncing. “You don’t like it?”

“I love it.” Jim says with a smile. “Okay, you guys are gonna have to form an orderly cue because I seriously need a hug.”

_…_

“God, Jim, I’ve missed you.” Bones whispers.

“I know, Bones.” Jim nods. The hospital room is quiet now, the kids have gone home. It’s dark too, only the faint artificial light from the hallway giving the room its soft illumination. “I’m sorry.”

 “Shhh.” Bones soothes. “I’m just so glad you’re back. _Jesus_.”

“You saved my life.” Jim smiles.

“Had to didn’t I?” Bones smirks. “You’re the father of my children.”

“And your husband.” Jim says. “Don’t forget that.”

“And lover.” Bones says. “I’ve missed that part too.”

“I bet you have.” Jim smirks. “We could…” Jim shrugs, shifting slightly in the bed.

“You were dead a couple’a days ago Jim. I’m gonna say that might be a bit premature.”

“But it’s been _so_ long. And I’m not dead anymore.” Jim states. “And you’ve kept yourself in shape, Bonesy, I can’t help myself.”

“Infant.” Bones says, letting Jim have a languorous kiss but going no further. He’s a doctor after all, and even if he does want to rip Jim’s clothes off he’s still going to be weak from the transfusion and his code of ethics is stronger than that.

…

Jim finally comes home a week later. The kids are all occupied in the sitting room. Nyota is fussing around Jim in the most uncharacteristic way… Bones is slightly worried. Christine and Spock are talking about possible consequences for Leonard in terms of his medical licence, what with him preforming experimental drug therapy on a dead man, using the blood of a convicted terrorist. Bones is trying to baste a turkey for the make-shift Christmas that is over a month late. Elle and Joe are upstairs and that has left Jim with the job of baby sitter. He’s more than content with that though.

“Bones, you think maybe we should have another baby?” He says.

“Please be joking.” Bones scoffs.

“But look how cute they are.” Jim says, holding Leo up like the baboon with that lion cub in that old-Earth animated film that Cameron loved as a kid.

“We’ve had twelve, Jim.” Bones reminds. “They’re cute for a while but then they cry a lot and puke on everything. And then they grow up.” He adds.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Jim sighs, nestling Leo more firmly in his arms. “We’ve done some great work though.” Jim says.

“What with all those Kirk genes flyin’ about.” Leo scoffs.

“Damn straight.” Jim grins.

“You wanna start makin’ bets on how many Admirals we’re gonna have?” Bones scoffs.

“I’d estimate seven of your children will achieve the status of Admiral.” Spock says.

“Are you gambling, Spock?” Jim asks. “Isn’t that illogical?”

“On the contrary, Jim; I would imagine gambling to be a very logical pursuit where they are concerned.” Spock counters, purposefully _not_ smiling.

“I think that’s a compliment.” Jim says with faux awe. “Nyota, you know Spock-speak; that was a compliment, right?”

“Infant.” Bones scoffs.

“I’ll go six.” Nyota says. “Only because I’m not sure seven will even want Starfleet careers.”

“No, you see, I’d go the other way.” Christine says. “Nine, maybe?”

“I was joking.” Bones says. “We’re not betting on our children.”

“Twelve, for sure.” Jim counters. “Thirteen with this little tyke.”

“You’re such a hick.” Bones scoffs.

“Pot, kettle, cowboy.” Jim chuckles.

The bustle of children demanding to be fed soon takes over the kitchen. There is no way they can do this all in one sitting so the ones who need to go to bed first are the ones who get first dibs on the food. Jim feeds Leo with one hand and holds JJ’s hand with the other. The youngest Kirk-McCoy is particularly clingy now that he has his Daddy back. Melody and Natalie eat first too. Elle gets the girls into a bath once they’re finished and Joe puts Leo to bed with a soft Georgia verse. Bones feeds Christine along with Cameron, Riley and Darcy because she has to catch a shuttle to New York to meet Roger at a research conference.

Then the rest of them sit down to eat while Bones oversees the whole affair. Darcy hangs around helping Bones whip cream but Cameron and Riley are sat on the window seat arguing over the best course of action of a PADD simulation. They ask Spock for the logical course of action; it takes the Vulcan by surprise and even though he’d never admit to having the emotion, he certainly _looks_ chuffed.

“It’s good to have you back, Dad.” Alex says quietly from his seat opposite Jim. Jim looks up, surprised by the admission and who it’s come from.

“It’s good to be back, Al.” Jim returns.

“I didn’t think you’d make it. Should have known better than to doubt you.” Alex says and then shrugs. “I have this tactics paper; you couldn’t take a look at it, could you?”

“It sounds like something I could do.” Jim nods and the meal resumes.

Sooner or later Spock and Nyota head home; most of the kids end up in bed. It gets to about eleven o’clock and it’s just Jim and Bones sitting on one sofa, Elle and Joseph on another, Julia sitting on the carpet by Jim’s feet, Alex in the armchair and Sloane lying on her front across from the holovid playing on the screen. Sloane and Alex are going to be moving back into ‘Fleet dorms next week and Joe and Elle will be taking Leo back to their own apartment but, for now, everyone is keeping close together.

The doorbell sounds and Bones gets up to answer it, muttering about his weary bones and Jim laughs at the irony of it. It’s Pike. He looks at the scene before him and he smiles. Alex evacuates the armchair to let the Admiral sit, slinging himself down onto the sofa beside Jim and Bones laughs when Jim places a wet kiss to his son’s cheek. Alex just rolls his eyes and elbows Jim. Then a small skirmish ensues and it’s Bones who’s rolling his eyes.

But Pike smiles at him and raises his eyebrows.

And Bones realises he wouldn’t have it any other way.

…

_July 2280_

Jim _isn’t_ crying. That is _not_ what’s happening. Bones is biting his cheeks to stave off smirking. Julia looks mortified while JJ laughs unabashed, well, until she frowns at him too. Melody and Natalie are whispering to each other. Darcy is poking Riley; Cameron is sniggering. Noah looks completely unamused and Finn is chatting to the kid from another family who are here to watch their eldest graduate.

Pike is giving a speech that sounds grave. Alex is the spitting image of Jim in his cadet reds. Proud, clever, charming… split lip. But he’s graduating as a lieutenant; he’s going to be posted as a pilot on _The Oberon_. Sloane commed this morning, she’s stationed on _The Endeavour_ under Borelli; she’s working to be chief tactician, hopefully she’ll be his XO in a few years. Joseph is currently conducting a research project on Deneva with Sam, Elle is doing a year’s tour on _The Freedom_ and then they plan to move to Paris until Leo is old enough to cope with ‘Fleet parents.

Alexander Kirk is graduating. He’s now a Starfleet officer.

Jim feels old.

Julia takes his hand in hers and smiles softly. She’ll be heading back to LA in August. They all seem to be scattering themselves around the globe – far away from home.

But at times like this, well, Jim realises, they’ll always come back.

…

“We’ve done pretty good, haven’t we?” Bones says that evening. They’re lying side by side; Jim’s wearing his reading glasses because he refuses to go for corrective surgery. Bones knows it’s because being put under reminds Jim of dying and he’s not ready to face that again just yet. Jim’s still scared to fall asleep some nights, dreading that he just won’t wake up. No matter how he might make light of it all now, it’s something that will always haunt the family.

“Yeah, you know, I think we have.” Jim agrees.

“You know, ah, I’m finished reading.” Bones says with a coy little smile, putting his book on the bedside cabinet.

“Are you coming onto me, Bones?” Jim smirks.

“I guess so, Jim.” Bones says, turning onto his side.

“We still got it, even after all these years.” Jim grins, deftly flipping himself onto his knees, straddling Bones. Bones chuckles, settling his hands over Jim’s hips he hooks his fingers into the waistband of Jim’s pyjama pants. Jim leans forward to press his lips to Bones’, hands resting over Bones’ chest to help him keep his balance.

“Oh my God, can you guys, like, not?” Darcy’s unimpressed scoff comes from the doorway.

“Oh my God.” Jim mimics. “Can you, like, close the door?”

“You guys are gross.” She says with an unamused sneer. “I only came in to say goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Both men say quickly, and then Bones sighs and says gently _night, baby-doll_.

“Just keep the noise down, okay?” She huffs but when Jim looks at her she’s smirking.

“Out.” He orders.

…

_January 2259_

_“What’s wrong?” Bones whispers into Jim’s shoulder blades, his bare thighs pressed against the back of Jim’s. Jim should maybe still be clinging onto the afterglow of their last orgasm but he’s all tense again and Bones can’t help but worry._

_“What if I fuck up?” Jim asks. “I never had a father Bones, the closest thing I ever had was Frank; what if I turn into that?”_

_Bones pulls back, turning Jim to him with a firm hand on his shoulder. “What are you talkin’ about? You’re going to be a brilliant father. Sure you’ll make mistakes; Lord knows I’ve made enough. But you’re going to love this baby just like you love Joe. Don’t you go worryin’ about  turnin’ into Frank.” He says sleepily. “Frank wasn’t half the man you are, Jim.”_

_“I might still fuck up.” Jim says._

_“Yeah, so might I. But we live and learn. S’what being a parent is about I reckon.”_

_“I’m glad I’m doing this with you.” Jim whispers._

_“What?” Bones wonders, thinking Jim might be talking about more than just having a child together._

_“Growing up.” Jim shrugs. “Growing old.”_

_“I love you too, Jim.” Bones says with a smile and Jim shuffles back closer to Bones, pulling the doctor’s arm tight around his waist._

_They didn’t know what they were in for, but they were more than ready for it._


End file.
